busy as a bee

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yep, busy as a bee... i've been photographing and designing books for my little ones' classes (preschool and first grade) the past couple weeks.  along with paying taxes, book keeping, calling accountant, working on workshop, ordering and shipping prints, working on a new website, etc...i've been crazy busy.  i absolutely love giving this gift to the teachers and parents every year!!

this year for sky's class, i took photos at the beginning of first grade and then the end of the year. it was rather mind-blowing how much some of the kids changed in one year.

for their book, i used both sets of pictures and the kids drew and wrote what they wanted to be when they grow up. reading their writings was one of the cutest things ever. here's a few of my favorites...

I wont to be a farmer becuaes I wont to help peaple eat hulfee.

I wont to be a vet to help animals. And I wont to be a fotogerfer to take beautiful pickshers.

When I grow up I will be a Dr. and a hair stilitst because I'd help pepl and kids. I will be a hair stilitst because I cut hair and do dipheret hair stils.

I what to be a army man becus my Dad was in Irack. I think it is a good job to help the world.

Wen I grow up I want to be a vetcherereen becuse I want to help anamals.

I want to be a arme man becas it is cool. and I like camaflog. I like to get trained.

and this is the preschool book layout (they also drew what they wanted to be when they grow up and then i asked them some questions)...

and speaking of busy, gotta run...having a friend over for dinner and need to grocery shop and clean.  i'll have to make sure i buy something hulfee :-)

my WI friends

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oh my freaky friends. i miss them so. already. their laughter is infectious and i try hard to still hear it. i want it engrained in my brain, so i can trigger it at will. a little shake of the head, flick of the fingers, whatever...i just never want to forget the joy. it was the most extraordinary weekend.  a weekend full of of craziness-- a whipping (not that kind of whipping) gettin' high (not that kind of high) trespassing a piercing (and a couple others that were almosts) gettin' naked (by accident) shooting lots of super yummy food and so much more. sounds fun, right? trust me...we had a blast!!

we laughed all weekend. and the energy was magical because they are magical. so full light, love and beauty.

i can't wait till the next time, which i am already trying to coordinate.

here's a few pics of these two fabulous women, from our shooting afternoon.

seriously love these two.  and a glimpse of what i so miss...

p.s. they're really not freaky at all but it was part of our weekend laughs.

can we slow things down a bit...

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...please?  because kiele is THIRTEEN! can you believe it? me neither. officially a teenager...and still as wonderful, sweet and good as ever.

i was looking at old photos of kiele and as i looked through the photos, memories and stories of kiele flooded my mind (that's what photos are supposed to do, right?!). in celebration of kiele's birthday, i thought i'd share a few photos and thoughts here...

sweet, sweet kiele --

you have this ability to touch people like no other. people meet you and always seem to fall in love with the person you are. i hear it time and time again...how incredibly special you are. there has been plenty of times, especially at your schools, where strangers will stop me in the hallway to tell me what a great kid you are. my heart beams and tears flood my eyes knowing you have this gift and it comes so naturally.  needless to say, i'm one proud momma and feel so very blessed!

and i can honestly say, this goodness about you started as a baby. momma carmen watched you from six weeks old until age four. while you started as simply one of the day care children, you quickly became part of their family. and well, you thought of them as family too -- calling them momma carmen and daddy jim. while many mommas might have worried about that, i didn't; i adored it.  thanks to you, we will forever be family with one another.

after your daddy and i got a divorce, i know things were tough for you. but you were always so strong. i adored how you slept with your daddy's photograph every night for years and years. eventually it came out of the frame and was laminated (easier to sleep with that way).  over the years, it had fallen apart and was taped together multiple times (by you). one day, i tried to scan it and replace it with a new one, but you wouldn't have anything to do with it and made me give you back the old one -- the one that was falling apart, perfect and not to be messed with.  that photograph is now back in a frame and graces your nightstand, right next to your bed.

here's the oh-so-loved-perfectly-taped-together picture of kiele's dad, scanned a couple years ago.

and baby marston, who was named that from the very beginning. you loved him so much (yes, he was a him). it breaks my heart that he's now packed away in the back of your closet. i took this series of fictional photographs when you were eight. now this day is a reality and i sit here with a lump in my throat, wishing i could stop time for a bit or at least slow it down. (larger version here)

you are the best big sister ever.  even though there is a six-year spread between you and sky, you've always played with the little ones often and so well.  you've now started to really enjoy your private space and time, yet you still let the little ones in to share with you (most of the time).  they adore you beyond words. and you have set and continue to set such an amazing example for them.

i found the three of you like this in the backyard, so many times. each time, i would look in awe...cherishing how well you played together.

i will never forget the day your cochlear implant was turned on and you could hear...i mean really hear, for the first time!  you were so brave during the surgery and the recovery.  the moment you heard water run in the bathroom for the first time and you came running to tell me was magical.  you have never used your disability as a crutch and my guess is that you never will. i love how you don't hide your cochlear implant and how you are proud of who you are and what you've overcome and accomplished.

being a military family, i always worry about you when we move every couple years -- a new school, making new friends, etc. but i shouldn't, as you seem to do amazingly well each and every time. you seem to always find a very special friend wherever we go.  and after we move, even at a young age, you worked hard to keep that friendship going despite the many miles between the two of you. you haven't been with nat since 2006 and your friendship is still a strong and cherished one.

i truly cannot believe you are thirteen and i thank you for thirteen incredible years. you have taught me more than anyone and your goodness is inspirational to all. you have a special something and i truly believe you're going to make your mark in this world (and it will be one great mark, for sure). you see the world so wonderful; i often joke that you see the world as nothing but rainbows and roses (and maybe some horses). when i describe you to others, i usually start with, she's rather angelic. and i really mean that!!

you are obsessed with horses and want to be a large animal veterinarian when you grow up. you even have $800 already saved up to buy your first horse after college. you dream to one day live on a ranch and own lots of horses. hmmm...maybe you'll even be the next big horse whisperer. that wouldn't surprise me one bit!

i wish you the happiest 13th birthday and hope that all your wishes come true -- this and every year. i love you sweet kiele. more than you'll probably ever realize!

thank you for being you...and for being so absolutely amazing! photo above, of kiele and i, taken by untamed heart photography

and while this post is already really long (deservingly so), i close with a poem that kiele wrote the other day:

my own secret forest is filled with dreams.  everyday, after school, it calls my name.  the wind whispers kind words and the flowers wave hello.  the clear bubbling brook, with silver fish, is inviting.  the birds chirp cheery songs, with glee.  i follow the stepping stones down to the brook.  then i jump onto the fallen tree...and walk across.  the long green grass, with colorful wild flowers, tickle my feet.  along the brook's sand bank, i skip some stones.  then is see some deer and follow them, deeper inside the forest.  trees with blooming flowers float in the breeze.  i pull some weeds out and feed them to the deer.  i hear the squirrels chatter and watch the butterflies flutter.  the sunset comes beaming through the forest, with it's beautiful colors.  lightning bugs begin to show themselves with their bright lights.  i catch a few and dance around.  the moon arrives and glances at the brook.  i know it's time.  i let the lightning bugs fly away and say my good-byes.  my time has come to leave.  but my smile remains, for i know i will be back soon -- very soon, to play in my secret forest once again.

weekend warriors

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how did i get so lucky as to have two of the most incredible weekends, back to back?!! last weekend, i flew to salt lake city, for a photography get-together--just a few of us girls, hanging out and having fun.  to say the weekend was magical is actually an understatement.  we shared. we laughed. we learned. we cried.  i left there a better person...a person that embraced and soaked in as much goodness as possible, from each of these fabulous women.

i was also super stoked to find the most breathtaking resort for our fall workshop location.  the location alone is crazy inspirational!! we're hoping to share all the details and open registration this coming week.  just a few more things to work out before the contract is complete and signed.

i adore this photo so much. i love the way we all seem to be entwined with one another, which is exactly how i feel.  a part of them will forever be entwined in my heart and soul.  i'm going to print this and keep it on my desk, to remind me every day of their light, love, goodness and inspiration. from left to right: wynona, crystalynn, steph, me, mindy and jefra photo set up by jefra. taken with self timer. and edited by mindy.

and this weekend... terri fischer and julie bartel are visiting ME :-) woot! woot!  i thought they were fabulous, knowing them on-line. well, they're even more fabulous in person. we're having a blast. and so much laughter shared!!  they are actually flying with steve right now (he got his private pilot license just the other day), which is why i have the time to blog right now.  this afternoon will be filled with shopping, shooting and hooking up with another new friend. i just love terri and julie and am so very thankful to have them in my life. they, too, make me a better person.

family photos

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this past weekend, we had the awesome opportunity to have our family's photos taken by untamed heart photography at the city museum in st louis.  and oh...my heart is so darn happy, i can barely stand it.  i cannot even begin to express how much i appreciate this gift michelle has given us. friday afternoon, we drove to st louis, to visit michelle and her family.  ryder lost his tooth on the drive and we hoped that the tooth fairy would be able to find us.  she did.  :-) our families had such a great time -- sharing, laughing, playing together!!  saturday afternoon was the photo session.  and on sunday, we visited grant's farm and then ventured home.

i truly and deeply treasure each and every image michelle has shared with me.  needless to say, she's wicked talented. here's a few that she has emailed over the past couple days...

thank you michelle, for the magical photos.  for opening your home and your hearts to our family.  for the special memories that will forever be a part of us.  thank you...for everything!!!

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and in case you were wondering, this is what the four-hour drive home had in store...

p.s. if you're a photographer, please don't forget to take the time to have your own (family's) photos taken!

fingers and toes

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yesterday, the little ones and i got our toes done (aka a pedicure). kiele had a choice...and horseback riding won over pretty toes. ryder basically got a fab foot massage. sky ended up getting her toes and fingers done. it's always a big deal for sky, but when she ends up with pretty flowers on pretty toes and fingers, it's a really big deal. but...last night also happened to be bath night. how am i going to take a bath? i'm going to have to keep my feet and hands out.

you see, she does her best to not get those pretty toes and fingers in the water, for fear that the water may cause damage to her polish. it usually results in a mandatory very quick washing of the affected areas.

note: bath time was three hours post-manicure | pedicure.  this will actually continue for the next week or so.

so last night, i peaked in the bathroom and saw this...

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and today, we're headed to st louis, to visit this awesome family. can't wait!!

take pride

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from 500 pieces of prudent advice for my daughter. People will repeatedly tell you that to be truly happy, you must find a job that you love. I sincerely hope that you do. But in case you have to take a less-than-ideal position to pay the bills, there are some things you should know. Avoid any job that you find morally objectionable—you can’t reconcile your values with tasks you find repugnant. But you can earn rewards from a job that you find only mildly tolerable. When you are presented with a challenge and use your skills to meet it, you will feel accomplished, regardless of the task. That feeling is universally valid and undeniably admirable; embracing it will make work a more rewarding experience in the day to day, even if it doesn’t feed your soul.

having done my fair share of jobs to simply pay the bills... having had a job (as an RN) that didn't truly make me happy, nor did i love it... and now doing a job that i absolutely love and feeds my soul, beyond what i had ever imagined it would... i adore her advice on taking pride in your work -- no matter what the job happens to be, at the time!

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i would love to do a journal of momma's advice, for my kids one day. along with a video of momma's thoughts, love and advice. i guess that that would fulfill numbers 1 and 32 on my bucket list.  not sure what i'm waiting for, but one of these days...i will.

life goals

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sky brought this home from school on friday. and my heart melted.  seriously melted.

and i began thinking about what i would write if i was asked to share three life goals. it's not easy to write just three.  hmmm...

1. try to do and be my best in all i do. 2. remember to give. 3. cherish each and every day.

if you could list only three life goals, what would they be??

p.s. this is my 777th post and yesterday, while watching blind side, 777 kept coming up on the closed captioning throughout the movie.  is someone trying to tell me something?

be grateful

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let us be grateful to people who make us happy;they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. - marcel proust

a couple days ago, i asked sky if she would do some pictures with me,

just for a little bit...please.

sure, she said. just for a little bit.

we went out, behind our house, for about 15 minutes -- that's all we had until sunset.  but i was grateful for any amount of time, especially since i hadn't shot in a while.

when i photograph sky, she always (almost always) goes with the flow of my ideas.  i don't really have to give her much direction.  she just does.  i just shoot.  we get each other that way.

and when done, i never forget to thank sky and tell her how great she did.  i don't ever want to take that special time she gives me for granted.

when tucking her that night, i asked her if she knew what a great model she is.

i know, she said, with her sweet, sly sky grin.

good, i replied, with a smile on my face.  you should!

and i was so very grateful... for everything.

go do

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came across these lyrics today.love...

go sing too loud make your voice break - sing it out go scream do shout make an earthquake...

you wish fire would die and turn colder you wish your love could see you grow older we should always know that we can do anything

go drum do go out make your hands ache - play it out go march through crowds make your day break...

you wish silence released noise in tremors you wish i know it surrender to summer we should always know that we can do everything

go do you´ll know how to just let yourself fall into landslide

go do you´ll know how to just let yourself give into low tide

go do!

tie strings to clouds make your own lake - let it flow throw seeds to sprout make your own break - let them grow

let them grow let them grow

you will survive we´ll never stop wonders you and sunrise will never fall under

you will survive we´ll never stop wonders you and sunrise will never fall under we should always know that we can do anything

go do!

- lyrics from jonsi's go do

yesterday, i did.

being military

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believe it or not, i'm now in my 20th year as part of the military system (3 years enlisted in the army reserves as a unitsupply specialist (long story), 10 years as an active duty nurse and 7 years as a military spouse). people often ask, especially during times of deployment, how do you do it?

well, to be honest, i really don't know any different (as an adult). and neither do our kids. we try very hard to always have a positive outlook on being a military family. look at --

all the different places we get to live. all the friends we get to meet, from place to place. all the friends we can potentially go visit, all across the country. all the experiences we get to have.

and now social media has made it so easy to keep up with and stay in touch with our friends.

the thought of having to settle in one place for an extended period of time actually gives me huge anxiety...and therefore, i don't give it too much thought. lucky for us, we have plans to sail around the americas for a year or so, after steve retires -- postponing the need to figure out our long term residence for a while.

a lot of people also ask me about the impact moving every few years has on the kids.  well...i think my kids are going to be just fine. so far...so good. but only time will tell for sure.

here's a shot i found a while back of me, while in the air force as a registered nurse. i'm pretty sure this was taken in 2001. getting out of the military was (and still is) very bittersweet. there's a part of me that absolutely loved it.

and here's steve and i at his EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) graduation, in september 2002.  i got out of the air force in march 2003, when i was seven months pregnant with sky.

these two chairs

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i think i've mentioned it on my blog a time or two before, but...we dream of owning an eichler someday.  so our house, whatever house we're living in at the time, is mostly furnished in a mid-century modern style.  we still  have a ways to go but piece by piece, our house becomes a bit more mid-century modern-ish. while in san diego, we picked up these two beat-up mid-century modern chairs from craigslist.  steve said that the core was good and i trusted him (he's almost always right).  but the cracked brown leather chairs sat in our garage for well over a year, waiting to be reupholstered.  shortly after we arrived to kansas, we located an awesome couple (lawyers turned upholsterers), who reupholster out of their house. and viola -- we had a set of kick-ass green frabric mid-century modern chairs.

we love our chairs. our kids love our chairs. charley loves our chairs.

i think more activity happens on these chairs than anywhere else in our house. it's really quite funny. and i've only captured a tiny fraction (over the past couple months) of what takes place in this one little space -- on these two chairs.

p.s. yes, that's sky filing her toenails, while sitting | balancing on the armrests of the chairs.

p.s.s. leah and i actually met, after i saw photos of her eichler on flickr.  i inquired about her house...a couple months and quite a few conversations later, we were invited over to her house for dinner.  and that's how our friendship began!

never alone

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i saw this video on my friend, joely's, facebook -- sharing that this song will always remind her of kirsten.  with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, i have to say, it is so incredibly beautiful.

in july 08, joely told with me that her cousin, kirsten (36 and the mother to three young boys), was diagnosed with adrenal cancer. i immediately asked joely, if she would share with kirsten that i would love to do family photos for them...anytime. and that's how our journey together began.

i often get asked about how i get involved with photographing people with cancer.  is there a group? a website? well, to be honest, i just ask. i can't say that i've ever sought out any of the people with cancer, who i've photographed. gratefully, our paths simply crossed. of course, i feel that it was just meant to be. i met sam through kiele's deaf itinerant teacher. i met max through sam. i met kirsten through joely.

it did take quite a bit of persistence on my part, to begin photographing sam and his family. and that's ok. i'm sure it's not easy letting someone in like that.  i occasionally reminded them that i was still willing, without being too pushy,

whenever they're ready, i am here.

eventually, they did let me in and i photographed sam and his family numerous times over the past four years.

i've shared this before -- i truly feel i've been blessed with this gift of photography. and my heart is always open, willing and longing to give back with it.

this was from the first time i photographed kirsten and her family, in august 2008.

ETA: within minutes of launching this post, i received this from kirsten's husband.  this is why i do what i do!!

Dear Deb,

I don’t know if you have heard, but Kirsten passed away last Thursday morning.

I can’t thank you enough for sharing your gift with our family!  You have no idea how incredibly meaningful the pictures you took of us are.  I remember you telling me the story of your husband and how few pictures he had of his mom.  Because of you, we are surrounded by amazing images of Kirsten that constantly remind of us of the incredible person she was, and the incredible spirit and inspiration that she continues to give!

Thank you Deb!  You are a wonderful, giving person with a one-of-a-kind gift!  Our family is forever indebted to you, and your photographs will always fill our house with happy memories!

something special

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when i first started my blog and was figuring out how things were going to flow, i knew that i couldn't commit to blogging about each and every client and therefore, decided my blog was going to be about things that touched my soul and hopefully, in doing so, i would inspire someone, somewhere, someday.  well today, i feel it necessary to blog about one of my clients, as she has completely touched my soul.  meet 10-year-old miss E.

photographing E and her family was my last and tenth session in san diego (in 3 1/2 days). E's mom was the winner of my donated photography package, for max's ring of fire auction.

i began the session photographing the kids -- E and her 12-year-old brother.  E is a pretty girl and super sweet, but also quite shy and reserved.  when we first met, i wondered how i was going to get her to relax with me.  but it didn't take long for E to be completely comfortable with me and my camera.  within about five minutes, it was as if it  was just she and i -- no one else in the world mattered.  during that time, E was the prettiest girl in the world and maybe even the most magical princess in the world.  i just kept saying,

keep doing your thing; you are so beautiful...

...and kept clicking.  i was in awe at her beauty and her willingness to openly and honestly share that beauty with me.

E has something special -- a magical beauty that shines from within.  i can't stop thinking of E and the gift she left with me that day.  she touched my soul and her beauty filled my heart.

when i got home (to KS), i shared with E's mom a bit about what i hoped to blog about E, while also asking her permission to do so.  she said she would love that and also shared a bit of E's writings, from her home journal:

love. blossom. live in happiest, forever together. in peace and in bad, i will love you. in all my love for you. when you are mad, remember a new day is ahead of you.  do not live in the past, live in the present. forgive and forget. live strong and in wisdom. remember to care about others  and  yourself. treat others the way you want to be treated. try to be nice to people as many times as possible and give in. remember forgive.

as i read E's words, tears filled my eyes and my thoughts of E's exceptional inner beauty were more than confirmed.  E is one special child and i can't wait to see what she shares with and teaches this world.  she has definitely touched me and taught me how truly powerful and magical inner beauty is.

alive and well

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...and stressed, overwhelmed, drained and exhausted. excuses. excuses.

that's all.

i don't know...same shit, different day. pretty much unchanged since my last blog post, hence my lack of blogging lately. of course, i've started about 10 blog posts since then -- all which came across as too bitchy. too whiney. too ungrateful. so it's now evolved to this.  pure and simple honesty.

i've been...

getting over being sick. server hijacking. workshop. workshop. and more workshop. switching cameras. nursing CEUs. house hunting. still no address in tampa. damn. special ed law researching. preparing for tampa school transition. MD appointments.  dentist appointments.  finding time to read the happiness project. trying to remember the little things that need to be accomplished every day. not shooting. hate not shooting. longing for spring and therefore, still hiding indoors. occasional blog surfing to avoid dealing with what i really should be dealing with.

did i mention itchy scalp. imposed by stress? maybe?

and then i read her blog and do my best to soak in every bit of her goodness and wonderful, amazing, incredible spirit.

and smack myself a hundred times. or more. and remind myself to stop bitching and whining.  remind myself how grateful i am for each and every bit of each and every day. shit...i'm grateful to be overwhelmed.

then i get back to simply plugging along. and knowing that in the end, it will all work out.

yes... it will all work out... just fine.

the end.

ETA: i came across this quote on my friend, carrie's, FB wall. oh how i love it... you don't have a soul. you are a soul. you have a body. - c.s. lewis

a swirly, swirly mess

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yes, my mind is a swirly mess right now--trying to focus on just one thing, yet instead focusing on everything all at once.  madly racing around from thought to thought. i have the personality that thrives on busy.  but sometimes the busy overwhelms even me.  and the anxiousness sets in, holds on tight and won't let go.  that's about where i am right now. thinking about...

nursing continuing education credits. must finish 60 CEUs before march 1st.  of course, i dread doing them, so i wait until the last minute.  and then get mad because life would have been much easier if i worked on them regularly over the two years (yes, years!!).  and then i wait longer, until it's truly the last minute.  aye!

our future tampa house. which we did not find yet.  and we continue to ponder the pros and cons of the different areas.  and different houses. something like this... more house for the money. less house but possibly better investment, but needs tons of work. near old friends. near new friends. schools are bad. schools are good. schools are great. high school is good. middle school is terrible. elementary school is great. five minutes from beach. 30 minutes from beach. pool. no pool. quiet and safe. cool and close to everything. garage. no garage. lots of storage. no storage. 45 minute commute to work. 15 minutes to work. travel for horseback riding lessons and gymnastics. minimal travel. needs tons of renovations. needs minimal renovations. will it rent? will it be a good investment? can a high school be too big? what about the rumor of money and drugs? gamble with a short sale? what's really important? and that's just the beginning of the pros vs. cons game.

our workshop. i'm so excited, i can barely stand it. but nervous too. can't help it.  it's now less than a month away.  we've given it our heart and soul, but is that enough?  and there's the last minute details that look crazy on paper, but i know it's really not. so every time i glance at the paper, i remind myself that all is okay and all will get done.

and since i'm griping...this weather. i'm so done with the cold (60-year record breaking cold). i want to shoot. outdoors. and can't. well, i can but it's too fricken cold!! i know shooting wouldn't really help my situation right now, being so busy and all. but it actually does. it calms me. even to just shoot and edit one photo. i long for it.

and then i remind myself about this amazing session in portland, shot a few weekends ago, which i'll properly blog about soon. need my mind in the right place, to do justice to this magical momma and daughter team.  a magical team who completely embraces confidence and loving and being yourself.  i'll leave it at that and share these photos.

and how excited am i to get skater socks for my entire family. thanks terri. love you. hang in there friend. and come visit me. pretty please.

canon equipment for sale

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canon 5d mark II body canon 5d body SOLD canon 50 f/1.2L SALE PENDING canon 85mm f/1.8 SALE PENDING canon 24-70mm f/2.8L SOLD canon 100mm f/2.8 macro SOLD lensbaby composer with all optics SOLD canon 580EX speedlite SOLD sekonic l-358 light meter SALE PENDING canon (5d mark II) battery grip SOLD see equipment details and prices below.

my plan is to take the 5d mark II and 50mm f/1.2 with me to CA (when i'm there for the wallflower friends retreat) to have them cleaned and inspected by the canon service center (so the buyer is sure they are clean and in perfect working order), making them available to ship the end of march.  if interested in purchasing sooner, please email me.  everything else is available now.

details | pricing:

  • please click on any item below to see all equipment details and specs.
  • all lenses have always been protected with a UV filter, which you will also receive.
  • all of my equipment has been well taken care of.
  • buyer to pay price below plus shipping (with insurance). if opt out of insurance, signed waiver will be required prior to shipping.
  • visa, mastercard, money order and paypal are accepted.  if paying with paypal, please add an additional three percent (to cover paypal fee).
  • to purchase any of the equipment below, please email me.
  • if any inquiries are emailed this weekend, please note that i will be out of town and will email you when i return on monday.

canon eos 5d mark II digital camera body purchased 2/15/09 (have copy of original receipt).  original box. new: $2499 asking: $2100

canon 5d digital camera body (SOLD) original box. new: $2400 asking:  $1000

canon 50mm f/1.2L (SALE PENDING) purchased march or april 2009.  i'm pretty sure i can locate the receipt.  original box. UV filter. new: $1479 asking: $1200

canon 85mm f/1.8 ((SALE PENDING) not used much. original box. UV filter. new: $380 asking: $250 canon 24-70mm f/2.8L (SOLD) my favorite lens. original box. UV filter. new: $1339 asking: $1000 canon 100mm f/2.8 macro (SOLD) barely used. original box. UV filter. new:  $529 asking: $400

lensbaby composer with four optics (SOLD) original box. composer lens and pinhole, plastic, single glass and double glass optics. new: $375 asking:  $275

canon speedlite 580EX TTL shoe mount flash (SOLD) used once. new: $580 asking:  $400

sekonic L-358 flash light meter (SALE PENDING) barely used but i'm not sure where the shoulder strap is. new: $259 asking:  $175 canon (5d mark ii) battery grip (SOLD) never taken out of box. new:  $239 asking:  $200

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i'm sure lots of people are interested in why i'm switching back to nikon. yes, i used to shoot with nikon and got drawn back to canon because of its performance at high ISOs. but i still dreamt of my nikon days. and after shooting with leah's nikon recently, i was dreaming of nikon even more. so i decided to go back. it's what my heart is telling me is right and so i'm not letting my brain say too much...i'm just doing.

don't get me wrong, i still think canon is great. really great. but i think nikon is a better fit for me.

do what you love...

in , ,

and do it passionately.  that's what i think about when i watch edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros. i mean seriously...are they passionate about what they do or what?!  super love them.  i can only imagine how awesome they are live.  i now have them loaded in pandora. curious to see what pandora produces because i don't think there's anyone quite like them!!

also, this NY times article came across facebook today. i had read the salwen's story a while back.   so inspiring.  they've now written a book about their experience and  have a power of half blog here, which i plan on checking out later today.

i've been thinking a lot lately (more than usual) about what i'm meant to do in this world. i feel, deep in my soul, that i'm meant to do something greater. sometimes this thought really weighs on me...that i'm not doing enough. that there's something else waiting for me. for my family. do you ever feel like that? i know that someday i'll figure it out. maybe the time isn't quite right right now. i guess that's the deal that i make with myself. to alleviate the ache a bit.

i will figure it out. i will. and until then, i will live with the ache.

ETA: ended up buying edward sharpe and & the magnetic zeros in itunes. pandora didn't do them justice. they are a-ma-zing!!