dear 16-year-old me...i'm proud of you.
keep doing what you're doing.
don't give in to peer pressure.
and...watch this.
(actually EVERYONE watch this!!)
at age 16, i tanned on my house roof, laying on a silver mat, to attract as much sun as possible. and sometimes i added baby oil to the mix. often, i tanned until i blistered.
in my 20s, my cousin was diagnosed with melanoma on his chest. major, massive surgery. he lived. and thankfully continues to do well today. but, you're never totally cured from melanoma.
as a nurse, melanoma scared the shit out of me.
today, i'm 41. i avoid the sun and use sunscreen. tampa is brutal; the sun here is vicious. i also get skin cancer checks every year by my dermatologist.
wish i never laid out in the sun like i did. wish i saw this video when i was 16. hoping to spread the word.
dear 16 year old me...
you really shouldn't have followed the poofy hair trend; it wasn't very flattering on you.
...or the sunglasses fad.
rosie, you ARE a young genius. sorry i missed you in utah. next time, for sure. thanks for the share. xo.
wow, this film seems so incredible!! two filmmakers followed alec soth over a two-year period as he worked on his 'broken manual' project. chills just watching the trailer.
i have no idea when or where the film is going to show, but i can't wait to see it when it does.
please take some time to view alec sloth's work. it's so powerful and awesome and genuine and intimate and raw and just wow!! seeing work like this always makes me realize how very much learning and growing i have yet to do as a photographer.
a couple shots i love, from alec's broken manual project...
most people don't know there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don't get too comfortable and fall asleep and miss your life.- storypeople
just returned from the most amazing, magical weekend in park city, utah.
the kind of weekend where you laugh so hard, you cry.
the kind of weekend that feeds your soul more than you could have imagined.
the kind of weekend where you can hardly believe the amount of beauty that surrounds you.
the kind of weekend where all you keep thinking about is how incredibly blessed and lucky you are!!
and i'm so not exaggerating!! now...it's back to editing. through the wee hours of the night. for many, many, many days ahead. more to come but have some serious catching up to do first!
also, super excited that travel sessions are filling up, for september -- san diego, NY and chicago. please make sure to inquire soon, if interested.
i think pretty much everyone has now heard of vivian maier. but have you seen the new vivian maier site? i swear i could look at her work all day. and night. it's mind blowing how talented she was. and even more mind blowing how she shot for nothing more than herself and her love for shooting. goodness...her eye. her composition. her timing.
so
much
talent!!
i really would love to own any one of her prints but here's a few of my favorites from her new site.
i've seen this one before, but man, i love it so much!!
and this self portrait. OMG!!!
i can't wait to get her book and watch her documentary (i donated to her project long ago on kickstarter and have both coming my way once they're done). and one day...i will make it to one of her exhibitions.
the reason that I can be 38 and have two kids and wear a bikini is because i work my ass off. it’s not an accident. it’s not luck, it’s not fairy dust, it’s not good genes. it’s killing myself for an hour and a half five days a week, but what i get out of it is relative to what i put into it. that’s what I try to do in all areas of my life.- gwyneth paltrow
although i have to say...gwyneth paltrow does have some pretty damn good genes. have you seen this photo of gwyneth and her mother?
i haven't posted a crossfit update in a while so i thought now is as good as time as any. it's been almost eight months since my first day at crossfit jaguar. i remember so clearly walking in, nervous as hell, thinking what the hell am i doing. but i did it...telling myself over and over again, what did i have to lose; if crossfit isn't for me, i don't have to go back.
since my last update in january, i've lost a couple pounds (no, i'm not trying to lose weight) and about 1/2 inch everywhere. i've also dropped about three percent body fat.
i crossfit four times a week and do my best to eat well -- high protein, low-glycemic. but some days are just off days and i waiver, like this past week. but i WILL get back on track.
a couple weeks ago, i tracked my daily food intake. i quickly realized that i just don't eat enough food and how very easy it is to eat a lot of carbohydrates. i've never been a big eater and i don't like vegetables that much, so i really have to work hard at this eating well and eating enough thing.
here i was, pre-working out, may 2010.
and here i am today. proud to be a 41-year-old, mother of three, fit, healthy and stronger than i've ever been in my entire life. when i started crossfit, i could maybe do one military style push up. the other day, i did 100 (no going to my knees). can't wait till the day that i can share that i did one unassisted pull up.
there was no editing, retouching, tweaking or anything done to any of these photos. i wanted to be honest and real, with everything i posted throughout this journey.
i share these continued updates to hopefully inspire. you CAN do it!! it's never too late to get fit and be healthy. i truly haven't felt better and i keep getting stronger and stronger. it's really been an amazing journey and i never thought i'd say this but...i actually look forward to working out; i crave it. i know and completely understand that crossfit isn't for everyone, but i hope that you will find that thing that works for you!!
you can see more photos and read more about my getting fit journey here.
i pinned this today (via pinterest) and it says it perfectly (couldn't find original source to give credit)...
lastly, check out this amazing video of crossfit women. blows my mind!!
if you have any questions, please ask! i'm no expert, but i can offer my personal thoughts.
ETA --
Q: is it a class or did you have to get a personal trainer?
A: personally, i started out with a personal trainer three times a week. and did that for three months,until i got to the point that i was comfortable to go into a class. however, depending on the gym, you might be able to go right into a class (many gyms are now requiring a fundamentals or foundations course). for me, i wanted to get a good understanding of the workouts and make sure i knew how to do the lifts properly so i wouldn't get hurt.
Q: where do I find this workout? i admit Im out of shape and have a few health issues..i need to get fit!!! how often do you train?
A: you can read all about crossfit here. that website has everything -- workouts of the day (WODs), demo exercise videos, etc. you can also google crossfit in your local area, to find all the crossfit gyms around you. i researched all the gyms in tampa, before deciding which one to go to. i wanted to find one that was a good fit for me. while the fundamentals of each crossfit gym are the same, the gym personalities (feel or vibe of the gym) can be very different.
i started out training three days a week. some days it was 20 minutes. other days it was an hour. now that i'm in classes, i crossfit four times a week.
and this awesome momma shared about her journey, doing and managing her own personal crossfitting.
Q: i am still finding it hard to get specific exercises for my waistline. do you have any that you have found that worked particularly well?
A: my waistline was my HUGE trouble spot and in the first five weeks of crossfit, i lost three inches in my waist. with that being said, i think it was the combination of all the exercises (so many of them work my core) and changing my diet. i really don't do that many sit ups (or ab specific exercises) at all.
Q: as a previous carb-addict, what do you eat for breakfast now?
A: i typically have a protein shake in the morning (water, 1/2 banana, spinach or kale, almond or peanut butter, flax seed, protein powder and ice). if i don't have a protein shake, i'll have eggs and/or bacon. i don't eat until after my crossfit workout, so that's around 10:30 AM. if i'm really hungry in the morning (pre-workout), i'll have a clementine and some almonds.
hats can be short,and hats can be tall.
you can wear them to the market,
or you can wear them playin' ball.
some people wear their hats
to block away the sun.
some people wear their hats
just because they think it's fun.
the pilgrims, they wore hats,
and nurses do too.
sombreros are a spanish hat,
but that I bet you knew.
hats can be all colors,
all shapes and sizes too.
like a cowboy hat or a pirates hat
in black or white or blue.
magicians use their hats
to pull their rabbits from.
and a sailor has his hat on
when it's home from sea he comes.
there are hats for all occasions
and many places too.
last night we thought we'd model
this hat for you.
- author unknown
came across the above poem and couldn't help but share. reminds me of dr. seuss, which we read nightly in this house and...last night, i asked sky if she'd let me take a few photos of her, to test out my new hat. (the poem will also be a perfect addition for my family's annual book.) we didn't have a lot of time to shoot last night -- about 15 minutes in between sky and ryder's gymnastic start times and then about 10 minutes when we got home (until we had enough of being attacked by mosquitoes).
photos shot with lensbaby composer | double optic and nikon 50mm f/1.4G
also, i wanted to share this video series i just discovered and am totally diggin' -- [framed] show, by melissa niu. i watched ryan muirhead's [framed] video yesterday and i can't stop thinking about his closing words...
...find your own voice and the only way to do that is by working. you can't read up on it. you can't learn it. you can't absorb it from someone else. but if you're out there shooting constantly -- on good days, on bad days, when you're feeling creative, when you're not...carry a tiny camera with you everywhere you go. if you do that enough, your voice will find you. it's inevitable.
YES...
your
voice
will
find
you.
thanks ryan for your ongoing inspiration and the reminder to keep shooting...through the good days and the funks!!
i love this womani am grateful for this woman
and all she shares with us
she reminds me what it means to be
good
and gratefuland not-so-serious
in this crazy, mixed up
world of ours
while in kansas, i started a grateful 365 project. to be completely honest, something went off course and i never finished. and then we moved. and then i was sent really off course. but seeing hailey's video has me longing to start another one. although i'm taking the daily pressure off and simply calling it my 'grateful project'. can't wait to see what comes of it.
how can anyone ever go wrong with a project that reminds them of all they have to be grateful for...each and every day.
hope you enjoy the video...
please don't forget to check out their 365 grateful site -- 365grateful.com
last but not least, here's a few photos from my 2010 (iphone) grateful project...
is another man's treasure. or for this man, he has transformed his junk into an inspirationalmuseum of wonder.
mmmm...
my dear friend and best finder of special things, erin, shared this video today and i can't say enough about it. please take five minutes and watch it. i promise, it's something special and you won't regret it.
so authentic.
so beautiful.
a man just living.
and being.
discovering.
and exploring.
doing what he loves.
simply because he loves it.
and mr. john henry toney.
i want him to sing to me.
i want to just sit and talk with them.
both of them.
and listen.
i'd love to hear their stories.
for hours.
i'd love to soak in all they are...
and all they have to share.
one of these days while stationed here in florida, i'm going to make a road trip to alabama. hopefully with my family. in an RV. i want to visit mr anthony's museum of wonder and if i'm lucky enough, i'll have the opportunity to chat with mr. anthony for a bit. he inspires me. in so many ways.
really, i've watched this video a couple times and each time, my eyes fill with tears.
You were born a daughter.You looked up to your mother.
You looked up to your father.
You looked up at everyone.
You wanted to be a princess.
You thought you were a princess.
You wanted to own a horse.
You wanted to be a horse.
You wanted your brother to be a horse.
You wanted to wear pink.
You never wanted to wear pink.
You wanted to be a Veterinarian.
You wanted to be President.
You wanted to be the President's Veterinarian.
You were picked last for the team.
You were the best one on the team.
You refused to be on the team.
You wanted to be good in algebra.
You hid during algebra.
You wanted the boys to notice you.
You were afraid the boys would notice you.
You started to get acne.
You started to get breasts.
You started to get acne that was bigger than your breasts.
You wouldn't wear a bra.
You couldn't wait to wear a bra.
You couldn't fit into a bra.
You didn't like the way you looked.
You didn't like the way your parents looked.
You didn't want to grow up.
You had your first best friend.
You had your first date.
You had your second best friend.
You had your second first date.
You spent hours on the telephone.
You got kissed.
You got to kiss back.
You went to the prom.
You didn't go to the prom.
You went to the prom with the wrong person.
You spent hours on the telephone.
You fell in love.
You fell in love.
You fell in love.
You lost your best friend.
You lost your other best friend.
You really fell in love.
You became a steady girlfriend.
You became a significant other.
YOU BECAME SIGNIFICANT TO YOURSELF.
Sooner or later, you start taking yourself seriously. You know when you need a break. You know when you need a rest. You know what to get worked up about and what to get rid of. And you know when it's time to take care of yourself, for yourself. To do something that makes you stronger, faster, more complete.
Because you know it's never too late to have a life. And never too late to change one.
JUST DO IT
- Nike
omg. this has me in tears this morning. the kind of tears that make it hard to breathe. hard to swallow. a lump in my throat, as i read. and re-read.
my friend, tara, shared this nike ad today on facebook. i had never seen it. she said she had it taped to her wall as a teen. today, i will share it with my teen. i will print it for her, with hopes that she will pin it on her inspiration board. with hopes that she will read it and re-read it and embrace the words.
kiele is thirteen. turning fourteen in a month. and as i read the words above, the remaining teen years just flew in front of my eyes. in a blur. i ache knowing that she is growing up so quickly. in a few years, she will be in college. most likely no longer living with us. at the same time, i'm so proud of who she is. the beautiful little lady she has grown to be. i truly couldn't be prouder!!
it took me a long (a VERY long) time to become significant to myself. i hope that i can teach kiele different. i will definitely do my best...to share that she is significant NOW. and will be forever!
thanks tara for sharing. for sharing something so beautiful. that has affected me so deeply.
i'm a photographer. and this is my work. some of it is this. and some of it is this.
really great photographers can't stop taking pictures. they do it like other people eat and breathe. her whole life is her subject.
two quotes i loved from the video below.
annie leibovitz intrigues and fascinates me on so many levels. i'm so grateful to have attended her exhibition in san diego a few years ago.
i just put the annie leibovitz: life through a lens documentary in my netflix queue. not sure how i missed that it back in 2008. and i think i'll sit with her a photographer's life 1990-2005 book this afternoon, while the kids are doing gymnastics. i guess it's just an annie leibovitz inspiration kind of day.
sadly, i just don't sit with my photography books enough these days.
could you imagine...
30 days
on the road
camera, notebook, map
no directions
getting lost
radio
truckstop, coffee and apple pie
sunset at big sur
motel 6
austin
tulsa
30 images
a project
for levi's
how fricken awesome is that?! i wish. a dream assignment, for sure! maybe someday!! for now, i'll keep wishing hoping, believing and...working hard. dreaming of an opportunity like this.
maybe someday i'll just have to create my own 30 days of getting lost assignment. although anyone who knows me knows that it wouldn't take long for me to be completely lost, if i didn't have my GPS telling me where to go.
friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.- author unknown
i feel so blessed to be surrounded by such amazing, inspiring, encouraging, supportive people. the kind of people who i can openly share with, get me thinking and keep me on my toes. today, i messaged with a friend for hours. this was a bit of our conversation...
...how did i get here. how am i living my dream. how are people buying my vision? how am i an artist-- exactly as i wanted to be... and having done nothing to be that. how long can i keep this up? how the fuck do i do this seriously and be serious about it, without it eating me up and shrinking me away. how do i deal with the anxiety of not being able to say no, and always feeling the stress of fear of disappointing people.
learning. each and every time.
amazing people surrounding me.
amazing clients...
+++
how do i deal with the anxiety of...can i keep producing? what happens if the magic just stops happening? if it stops coming my way? because clearly this is all magic? because it just happened. i mean i had to work hard but how did i end up here? it was just a dream. but now it's here and i don't want to wake up. how far will this take me? is it to a place that's even bigger than i ever dreamt?
no matter what though, i will embrace each and every opportunity that comes my way. i will never forget to be grateful. i will never forget to give back.
because in the end, this is a dream come true...something i will never take it for granted. i am truly and deeply blessed in so many ways and this wouldn't be possible without my family. yes...grateful and blessed!!
learning...always.
growing.
believing.
facing fears.
moving forward.
loving those who surround me and encourage me.
amazing.
amazing journey for sure!!
i can't even begin to tell you how much her conversation meant to me today. how much i cherish each and every conversation with my friends.
we all have a choice of who surround us. i hope you choose to be surrounded by those who inspire, support and encourage you. because when you surround yourself with authentic, honest friendships, it's a truly, truly beautiful...and powerful thing!!
photo from when i first began studying photography (early 2006). kiele and her best friend, natalie. it's probably the toughest thing about being a military family...having to watch your children say good-bye to their best friend(s) over and over again. however, i'm so grateful for phone, email, facebook, skype, etc., which allows them to easily keep in touch. hoping kiele and nat will see each other again soon.
faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.- rabindranath tagore
may we all have faith, feel the light, find our wings, sing our song and soar!! feels kind of cheesy as i write those words, but feels kind of awesome at the same time. like i just want to sit here and breathe it all in. anyways...
some photos just make my heart so happy. and the bird photo just happens to be one of those photos. taken yesterday, while the kids and i were at the beach (steve was parachuting). :-)
also, if you get a chance...click on over to the creative mama blog, where i shared a bit about my annual family books and the book making process.
this morning, i received an email from jason houston that max's series, forever seven, has been published in issue 3 of fraction J magazine. and i couldn't have dreamed of a more perfect theme to have max's photographs be a part of -- beyond the assignment.
For this issue of Fraction J we were looking for projects with several specific traits. The work, first had to be journalistic, at least in the sense that it was a reaction made in real time to real events and a subject's story truthfully told. But the more important distinction was that the photographer stuck with the work, not from any attempt to create something sellable for some specific market, but because it meant something to them—and where. The photography also has to be a functional element of the concerned involvement, but not the reason for it. In the end it was very difficult to draw these lines and find that balance, especially when it came to the personal documentary projects, many of which were reflecting on external situations. But in the end, the portfolios we ended up with span an appropriately broad and inspiring range of responses.
true momentum happens when a unique gift is cast upon a moment that has been waiting for it all along.if you don't have it, the spread of your work feels contrived. so you may have lots of twitter followers, but if you garnered them by following anyone and everyone in a desperate attempt to grow your platform, no one really cares.
when true momentum happens, people respond to your work. it's like hoisting a sail and being propelled by the wind, rather than rowing your brains out.
i heard jon acuff say recently that when he launched stuff christians like, the site drew 4,000 readers in just 9 days. his talent was cast upon a moment that was waiting for it.
- ben arment
oh how i love his words. in a sea of photographers, this is something to really think about and take to heart. work hard. be honest and passionate about what you do. and let things happen naturally. you might just be surprised.
thanks steph beaty for sharing. definitely a new blog to add to my reader. so many bits of inspirational wisdom scattered throughout his posts.
as i continue to try and find a way to go to miami and photograph my kids with this piano (dreaming that it IS possible), the past couple days has had me thinking a ton about dreaming and risk-taking.
then i saw the following post on facebook, from my friend (and past workshop attendee), jess --
my dream: to have a photograph i have taken...on the cover of a book. i swear...i buy books by their cover...and would die if i could accomplish that!
and i thought, why don't we share our dreams -- our wishes, hopes, desires, aspirations -- more often? what a powerful thing, to put your dreams out there. to set them free. and surround yourself with supporters. and other dreamers. truly, what do we have to lose?
i so believe...
in dreaming big.
working hard.
taking risks.
knowing that anything is possible
if we allow ourself to dream!!
yesterday, i read this quote and found it so inspiring...
if we always did what was known, there would be nothing to learn, explore or gain. isn’t it the surprises, the unexpected twists and turns that give meaning to our journey and make our dreams happen? Without risk, we’d stay hunkered down in our heads instead of living out loud in our hearts.
- author unknown
and then i happened across this quote this morning.
every thought you think is taken as a command by your subconscious, but it’s your strongest thoughts that become your true goals.
- brian mayne
can't help but think how truly powerful it is to fill your mind up with positive thoughts and big dreams. so tell me, WHAT IS YOUR DREAM(S)?
today is my trainer / crossfit gym owner's birthday and it's my party was the name of our workout of the day (WOD) this morning.
51 deadlifts
51 bench presses
51 squats
and so i dedicate this post to paula! thank you for inspiring me so, teaching me that strong is beautiful and that 50s are fucking fabulous.
i've now been crossfitting for 5-1/2 months and couldn't be happier. it's addicting, i tell ya. my weight and measurements haven't budged much since my initial loss at the 5-week point, but i know my body is getting stronger, toner and hopefully leaner.
i recently weened myself from private sessions, which i loved but are expensive, and am now attending four group classes a week (M-W-F-S). i love, love, love it...and can't wait to see where this crossfit journey continues to take me.
here's my pre-photos and then a few update pics from this morning...
may 2010
today ((i had just got home from crossfit, drank a smoothie and was freezing)
i hope my updates will continue to inspire others. remember that it's never too late. find what works for you and do it. you CAN do it!!
and if you have any questions, PLEASE ask!! i'll either answer in an ETA section below or another blog post.
...not to share everywhere i can. sid savara shares seven reasons why you should never check email first thing in the morning.
balance is something that most, if not all, (digital) photographers have great trouble with, especially when it comes to too much time spent on the computer. i think about all the time i spend on the computer -- checking email, editing, blogging, updating, twittering, facebooking, pinteresting, flickering (just to name a few). we talk about all kinds of ideas on how plan to limit our computer time, but it's like crack or something...we're just drawn in and once you're in, you need more. but i'm going to work really hard to start here --and not getting on my computer first thing in the morning. i'm thinking if i'm up at 6:30 (getting the kids off to school), i should give myself until at least 9:30 AM (an hour after i drop kiele off to school) before i touch my computer.
i summarized mr savara's seven steps below...
1. ignorance is bliss...fully productive.
when you get up, work on something important first, for 30-45 minutes. you don't know what needs to be addressed, what fires need to be put out, what your best friend has to share, etc. i
2. it's not YOUR to-do list.
do what's the most important thing for you to work on instead of being tasked by other people via your email. remember who is in charge of your time -- focus your time and energy on what YOU really would like to work on.
3. it's an excuse to lack direction.
if you're checking email (first thing in the morning or often), it's because you haven't decided what your high priorities are and focused on them. when you don't have a clear list of priorities, checking email becomes an urgent one, often at the expense of the important ones.
4. reaction vs. 'proaction'.
what is the chance that you checked your email at the exact right moment to address that super important email that just came through? checking email often forces you to react as items come in regardless of their true priority. instead, take proactive actions and work on the things that are important to you.
5. searching for excuses.
don't check your email if you're looking for a way to get out of the task at hand -- acknowledge what needs to get done and do it.
6. there's no set time limit.
checking email really only takes a minute - but you can get sucked into follow-up activities that result from checking email. don't let email suck you in and cause you to devote more time than you can afford; set productive hours.
7. it builds expectations.
how many people say "but i have to check my email; people expect my to reply right away." that's a bunch of bullshit (he didn't really say that, i did). if people do expect a response from you right away, it's because you've created that expectation.
how many of us waste time online, while we should be working on our to-do list? i know i'm so guilty. some days i'm better than others. for a while, i kept my written to-do list up-to-date and plugged away at it. every day, i circled my high priority items and got them done. i need to get back to doing that.
you can read mr sivara's full article here. i now have his site bookmarked. hoping to be inspired by more of his articles. thanks for the little kick in the ass tara and getting me refocused again. i'm going to work hard at finding a better balance -- and focus on the things that are truly important!!
i subscribed to nate williams' newsletters long ago because i loved one of his art print posters and they happened to be sold out. i was hopeful that maybe he would re-issue it in the future. little did i know that i'd also be receiving great, inspiring articles for creatives from nate williams. in his most recent newsletter, he included an article, does a professional illustrator need a "style". he shares...
As an illustrator, art directors hire you because they want to give a project a specific tone, feeling and they need to be able to count on your work being a certain way for their project, campaign, etc. It’s kind of like choosing a font. Imagine if you bought a Metallica CD and it was full of acoustic Bolivian folk music .. you would be kind of confused??? Art directors usually don’t want to play “style roulette”. This doesn’t mean you can’t do other styles…it just means when you present them to clients have consistency between the bodies of work. A number of illustrators, writers, and musicians work under various names for this vary reason. For example, my other style .. or alter ego is Alexander Blue. This is a wackier, colorful style geared for kids.
and regarding, does having a "style" mean never changing or growing, he states,
No, it just means have consistency between the bodies of work you present. (ie Nate Williams, Alexander Blue .. both me .. just grouped accordingly)
such great words to embrace and think about!! and i love that these thoughts are from a different type of an artist -- an illustrator versus another photographer.
had me thinking, for sure. i often have a difficult time seeing or talking about my own style, although i will when one forces me to. but i do know what i love. and i work hard to only put the photos that i really love in my portfolio. at the end of the day, i feel like if you do your thing and you're honest about what you love and share that in your portfolio, your style will shine without even trying.
and...i'm so excited about ordering this fabulous nate williams print, which was very similar to the print that i was originally longing for. a beautiful life indeed...
lastly, an image from the other day, while shooting with my friend, kathy wolfe. it had been a while since i shot. and it makes my heart so, so happy when i do.
p.s. no birds were added or manipulated in this image. it is as it magically was that day...and at that moment. :-)
