making it work

i remember reading about the novogratz family a while back, thinking that i really needed to DVR their new show, 9 by design.  which i totally forgot about until now and just ended up programming the show five minutes ago. their story -- they're a husband and wife team (now with SEVEN kids), who through the renovation of a rundown town house in new york city, realized they had a knack and love for interior design. soon after (1995ish), they founded sixx design, now a crazy successful real estate renovation company, specializing in turning funky into fabulous, as they say.

below are a few home decor | design concepts i love.  photos courtesy of sixx design.

check out this awesome garage door wall (we hope to have one someday) and the huge photograph -- LOVE! now dreaming of a huge print or two, for our tampa house.

another garage door wall and cool kitchen...

and this ground level trampoline. how awesome is that?!

there is no pool at the  house in tampa, that we put an offer on, but i dream of having one. and i love this simple, stunning design...

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being a military family and moving every few years, we kind of just make it work, from house to house.  sometimes it's a military house, where we get what we get and we don't throw a fit. other times, we buy.  but it's never totally our style, nor the house of our dreams.  and of course, schools are a priority in finding a house, with every move.

here's some photos of our current house, here in KS.  although it doesn't really look quite like this anymore -- i have sky and ryder's room almost entirely packed in boxes, all frames are off the walls, a huge purge pile sitting in the middle of my bedroom, etc.  we're packing slowly, box by box, over the next few weeks, with a departure date around june 27th.).

with this next move, we'll be packing and moving ourselves because there's money to be made if you do it yourself versus letting the military (outsourced) folks do it all.  and so i will be looking at every item in our house with a critical eye, asking do we use this? does someone in the house really love it, play with it, etc.? is there significant sentimental value?

thankfully, we don't have a lot of clutter to begin with, but i want everything to be used or loved and have it's place, preferably in a drawer or closet.

maybe someday, after the military and sailing around the americas, steve and i can renovate our own funky to fabulous living space. i know steve would absolutely LOVE that!!

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some design blogs i love: apartment therapy dos family decor8

a new site i just learned about -- living etc.  i'd love to get their magazine but it's a bit pricey.

we've been getting dwell for years. i'm in the process of going through hundreds of magazines and tearing out the pages i'm inspired by. my plan is to them create a binder of home inspiration, categorized by rooms.

and i can't wait to get my hands on the novogratz's book, downtown chic.

do you have a design blog you love?  please comment and share.  i'd love to know!!

p.s.  how great would it be to photograph the novogratz family. oh my!

is there a perfect time?

a friend posed this question today on her facebook wall:  what is holding  you back from booking a family photo session? quite a few women (moms) quickly commented that their weight is holding them back, which made me really sad. and a few posted money, which i understand but i also believe that there's enough photographers out there to cover everybody's budget.

this all led me to thinking about the perfect time.

is there ever a perfect time to have photographs taken of your family?

i posted on our wallflower friends blog today about an awesome article i read, which had the overall theme of taking the time to slow down and appreciate life and the everyday beauty that surrounds us.  in a swirly kind of way, i feel what i shared there and what i'm sharing here is totally intertwined.

it's so easy to say -- i'm too fat. i have too much going on. we're too busy. maybe next year.

but i just want to say STOP IT! we need to take the time to appreciate the value of family photos, if not for ourselves (because we're too fat or whatever), then for our children.  in 20 years, your children are not going to say,

i really love this photo of my family but i wish my mom had waited until she lost some weight.

and i think about steve's mom, who died when she was 40, only months after being diagnosed with breast cancer. steve was five at the time she passed away. he cherishes every single photo of his mom (not just the ones where she was thin, beautiful and looked perfect).

and kirsten sandstrom, who recently passed away at the age of 37, leaving behind a husband and three young boys. i don't think for one second that those boys will look at photographs of their mom (who pre-cancer probably wished she could have lost some weight) and see her as anything except the most amazing and beautiful mom there ever was.

we never know what tomorrow will bring our way.  and life is quickly racing by; before we know it, our kids will be grown and leaving the house.

NO, THERE IS NO PERFECT TIME.

i hope that this will inspire someone, who might be waiting for that perfect time or to lose a couple of pounds, to book a photographer...today!

and let us all try to slow down, remember what's important and see and hear the everyday beauty that surrounds us. © deb schwedhelm | tampa family photographer

be yourself

wanted to wish all the moms out there a belated happy mother's day! i wasn't feeling well on mother's day, so i've been playing a little catch-up with things, including this post.  better late than never, right?! sharing this most awesome painting of me, which i received from kiele, for mother's day. i love how she incorporated the beads in my dreads, the special necklace the kids made me for my birthday and a be yourself t-shirt because she thought i would like that.  i more than like it, i love it!! and it will soon be framed as one of my most precious pieces of art, on a wall in my home. :-)

and this photo, taken on mother's day, of the little ones goofing around in my bed.

to do

also saw this great article for women, on a friend's facebook stream today.  so let's all embrace lightening up a bit...okay?

happy friday!!

busy as a bee

yep, busy as a bee... i've been photographing and designing books for my little ones' classes (preschool and first grade) the past couple weeks.  along with paying taxes, book keeping, calling accountant, working on workshop, ordering and shipping prints, working on a new website, etc...i've been crazy busy.  i absolutely love giving this gift to the teachers and parents every year!!

this year for sky's class, i took photos at the beginning of first grade and then the end of the year. it was rather mind-blowing how much some of the kids changed in one year.

for their book, i used both sets of pictures and the kids drew and wrote what they wanted to be when they grow up. reading their writings was one of the cutest things ever. here's a few of my favorites...

I wont to be a farmer becuaes I wont to help peaple eat hulfee.

I wont to be a vet to help animals. And I wont to be a fotogerfer to take beautiful pickshers.

When I grow up I will be a Dr. and a hair stilitst because I'd help pepl and kids. I will be a hair stilitst because I cut hair and do dipheret hair stils.

I what to be a army man becus my Dad was in Irack. I think it is a good job to help the world.

Wen I grow up I want to be a vetcherereen becuse I want to help anamals.

I want to be a arme man becas it is cool. and I like camaflog. I like to get trained.

and this is the preschool book layout (they also drew what they wanted to be when they grow up and then i asked them some questions)...

and speaking of busy, gotta run...having a friend over for dinner and need to grocery shop and clean.  i'll have to make sure i buy something hulfee :-)

can we slow things down a bit...

...please?  because kiele is THIRTEEN! can you believe it? me neither. officially a teenager...and still as wonderful, sweet and good as ever.

i was looking at old photos of kiele and as i looked through the photos, memories and stories of kiele flooded my mind (that's what photos are supposed to do, right?!). in celebration of kiele's birthday, i thought i'd share a few photos and thoughts here...

sweet, sweet kiele --

you have this ability to touch people like no other. people meet you and always seem to fall in love with the person you are. i hear it time and time again...how incredibly special you are. there has been plenty of times, especially at your schools, where strangers will stop me in the hallway to tell me what a great kid you are. my heart beams and tears flood my eyes knowing you have this gift and it comes so naturally.  needless to say, i'm one proud momma and feel so very blessed!

and i can honestly say, this goodness about you started as a baby. momma carmen watched you from six weeks old until age four. while you started as simply one of the day care children, you quickly became part of their family. and well, you thought of them as family too -- calling them momma carmen and daddy jim. while many mommas might have worried about that, i didn't; i adored it.  thanks to you, we will forever be family with one another.

after your daddy and i got a divorce, i know things were tough for you. but you were always so strong. i adored how you slept with your daddy's photograph every night for years and years. eventually it came out of the frame and was laminated (easier to sleep with that way).  over the years, it had fallen apart and was taped together multiple times (by you). one day, i tried to scan it and replace it with a new one, but you wouldn't have anything to do with it and made me give you back the old one -- the one that was falling apart, perfect and not to be messed with.  that photograph is now back in a frame and graces your nightstand, right next to your bed.

here's the oh-so-loved-perfectly-taped-together picture of kiele's dad, scanned a couple years ago.

and baby marston, who was named that from the very beginning. you loved him so much (yes, he was a him). it breaks my heart that he's now packed away in the back of your closet. i took this series of fictional photographs when you were eight. now this day is a reality and i sit here with a lump in my throat, wishing i could stop time for a bit or at least slow it down. (larger version here)

you are the best big sister ever.  even though there is a six-year spread between you and sky, you've always played with the little ones often and so well.  you've now started to really enjoy your private space and time, yet you still let the little ones in to share with you (most of the time).  they adore you beyond words. and you have set and continue to set such an amazing example for them.

i found the three of you like this in the backyard, so many times. each time, i would look in awe...cherishing how well you played together.

i will never forget the day your cochlear implant was turned on and you could hear...i mean really hear, for the first time!  you were so brave during the surgery and the recovery.  the moment you heard water run in the bathroom for the first time and you came running to tell me was magical.  you have never used your disability as a crutch and my guess is that you never will. i love how you don't hide your cochlear implant and how you are proud of who you are and what you've overcome and accomplished.

being a military family, i always worry about you when we move every couple years -- a new school, making new friends, etc. but i shouldn't, as you seem to do amazingly well each and every time. you seem to always find a very special friend wherever we go.  and after we move, even at a young age, you worked hard to keep that friendship going despite the many miles between the two of you. you haven't been with nat since 2006 and your friendship is still a strong and cherished one.

i truly cannot believe you are thirteen and i thank you for thirteen incredible years. you have taught me more than anyone and your goodness is inspirational to all. you have a special something and i truly believe you're going to make your mark in this world (and it will be one great mark, for sure). you see the world so wonderful; i often joke that you see the world as nothing but rainbows and roses (and maybe some horses). when i describe you to others, i usually start with, she's rather angelic. and i really mean that!!

you are obsessed with horses and want to be a large animal veterinarian when you grow up. you even have $800 already saved up to buy your first horse after college. you dream to one day live on a ranch and own lots of horses. hmmm...maybe you'll even be the next big horse whisperer. that wouldn't surprise me one bit!

i wish you the happiest 13th birthday and hope that all your wishes come true -- this and every year. i love you sweet kiele. more than you'll probably ever realize!

thank you for being you...and for being so absolutely amazing! photo above, of kiele and i, taken by untamed heart photography

and while this post is already really long (deservingly so), i close with a poem that kiele wrote the other day:

my own secret forest is filled with dreams.  everyday, after school, it calls my name.  the wind whispers kind words and the flowers wave hello.  the clear bubbling brook, with silver fish, is inviting.  the birds chirp cheery songs, with glee.  i follow the stepping stones down to the brook.  then i jump onto the fallen tree...and walk across.  the long green grass, with colorful wild flowers, tickle my feet.  along the brook's sand bank, i skip some stones.  then is see some deer and follow them, deeper inside the forest.  trees with blooming flowers float in the breeze.  i pull some weeds out and feed them to the deer.  i hear the squirrels chatter and watch the butterflies flutter.  the sunset comes beaming through the forest, with it's beautiful colors.  lightning bugs begin to show themselves with their bright lights.  i catch a few and dance around.  the moon arrives and glances at the brook.  i know it's time.  i let the lightning bugs fly away and say my good-byes.  my time has come to leave.  but my smile remains, for i know i will be back soon -- very soon, to play in my secret forest once again.

weekend warriors

how did i get so lucky as to have two of the most incredible weekends, back to back?!! last weekend, i flew to salt lake city, for a photography get-together--just a few of us girls, hanging out and having fun.  to say the weekend was magical is actually an understatement.  we shared. we laughed. we learned. we cried.  i left there a better person...a person that embraced and soaked in as much goodness as possible, from each of these fabulous women.

i was also super stoked to find the most breathtaking resort for our fall workshop location.  the location alone is crazy inspirational!! we're hoping to share all the details and open registration this coming week.  just a few more things to work out before the contract is complete and signed.

i adore this photo so much. i love the way we all seem to be entwined with one another, which is exactly how i feel.  a part of them will forever be entwined in my heart and soul.  i'm going to print this and keep it on my desk, to remind me every day of their light, love, goodness and inspiration. from left to right: wynona, crystalynn, steph, me, mindy and jefra photo set up by jefra. taken with self timer. and edited by mindy.

and this weekend... terri fischer and julie bartel are visiting ME :-) woot! woot!  i thought they were fabulous, knowing them on-line. well, they're even more fabulous in person. we're having a blast. and so much laughter shared!!  they are actually flying with steve right now (he got his private pilot license just the other day), which is why i have the time to blog right now.  this afternoon will be filled with shopping, shooting and hooking up with another new friend. i just love terri and julie and am so very thankful to have them in my life. they, too, make me a better person.

take pride

from 500 pieces of prudent advice for my daughter. People will repeatedly tell you that to be truly happy, you must find a job that you love. I sincerely hope that you do. But in case you have to take a less-than-ideal position to pay the bills, there are some things you should know. Avoid any job that you find morally objectionable—you can’t reconcile your values with tasks you find repugnant. But you can earn rewards from a job that you find only mildly tolerable. When you are presented with a challenge and use your skills to meet it, you will feel accomplished, regardless of the task. That feeling is universally valid and undeniably admirable; embracing it will make work a more rewarding experience in the day to day, even if it doesn’t feed your soul.

having done my fair share of jobs to simply pay the bills... having had a job (as an RN) that didn't truly make me happy, nor did i love it... and now doing a job that i absolutely love and feeds my soul, beyond what i had ever imagined it would... i adore her advice on taking pride in your work -- no matter what the job happens to be, at the time!

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i would love to do a journal of momma's advice, for my kids one day. along with a video of momma's thoughts, love and advice. i guess that that would fulfill numbers 1 and 32 on my bucket list.  not sure what i'm waiting for, but one of these days...i will.

life goals

sky brought this home from school on friday. and my heart melted.  seriously melted.

and i began thinking about what i would write if i was asked to share three life goals. it's not easy to write just three.  hmmm...

1. try to do and be my best in all i do. 2. remember to give. 3. cherish each and every day.

if you could list only three life goals, what would they be??

p.s. this is my 777th post and yesterday, while watching blind side, 777 kept coming up on the closed captioning throughout the movie.  is someone trying to tell me something?

go do

came across these lyrics today.love...

go sing too loud make your voice break - sing it out go scream do shout make an earthquake...

you wish fire would die and turn colder you wish your love could see you grow older we should always know that we can do anything

go drum do go out make your hands ache - play it out go march through crowds make your day break...

you wish silence released noise in tremors you wish i know it surrender to summer we should always know that we can do everything

go do you´ll know how to just let yourself fall into landslide

go do you´ll know how to just let yourself give into low tide

go do!

tie strings to clouds make your own lake - let it flow throw seeds to sprout make your own break - let them grow

let them grow let them grow

you will survive we´ll never stop wonders you and sunrise will never fall under

you will survive we´ll never stop wonders you and sunrise will never fall under we should always know that we can do anything

go do!

- lyrics from jonsi's go do

yesterday, i did.

the winner is...

i'm excited to share that commenter number 10, alicia, was the winner of an 8x10 print, from last week's inspiring giving post.

alicia's print selection was the 'remember who you are' image, which i'll be shipping to her next week.

i learned that alicia and her family live in an RV and well, i'm pretty darn inspired by these awesome RVing families (i follow a few blogs). so i asked alicia if i could ask her a few questions, to share here...

how long have you been RVing? We have owned our RV since November, we will be moving into it full time in early May. So we are actually in the leaping stage.

how old are your children and what do they think about living in an RV? We have four kids -- ages 15, 12, 10 and 3. We just got back from a two week trip to Texas and it was a good trial run to see how things would go and how everyone felt about full timing. Our oldest is a little bit mournful of her friendships here but the great thing is that she can facebook and text with them whenever she wants. We've been homeschooling since our oldest was in 1st grade so we'll just continue that path on the road.

what do you love most about RVing on a full-time basis? I can already tell you what we love most. We love being all together. We have always lived pretty small and find that everyone ends up in the same room in our house. Our kids are the best of friends and the conversation rolls much easier for all of us in the RV. It's more simple. Everything about it screams simplicity. The challenge right now will be getting rid of our belongings and deciding what we need to take. Also the goodbyes will be a bit hard.

how do you decide where to go next? We will be traveling as my husband's job dictates. Most of his jobs will be about 6 weeks, so we head to Northern California first and then will go where his next job is. It looks like right now we will be spending some time in California, and I can't even tell you how happy that makes us all.

what or who inspires you? And really there are so many things and people that inspire us. Anytime we see someone take their dreams and go for it, it encourages us even more. Less than a year ago my husband was diagnosed with cancer and while he is now cancer free, we decided that time was too short and our kids won't be in the nest much longer. If not now when?

thanks so much for sharing alicia and congratulations -- i hope you love the print!

you can read more about alicia, her family and their travels here.

photo wall gallery inspiration

i loved this recent post on the creative mama blog, sharing thoughts and ideas on photography wall displays.  whether your wall space is large or small, i think many of these display ideas can be applied (some of them on a smaller scale). moving to a new house every two-to-three years, i go through the wall display decision making process quite often. i'm now excited to take some of these inspirational ideas with me to our tampa house, this july.

also, i wanted to share this not-so-formal wall display idea, from my own house.  we purchased these chalk- and pin-boards years ago from pottery barn kids and they have moved with us to three different houses now.

i just found this tacktile message board and this takboard from CB2, which would also work really well for this type of wall display.

have another photograph display inspiration?  please share, i'd love to hear about it.

never alone

i saw this video on my friend, joely's, facebook -- sharing that this song will always remind her of kirsten.  with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, i have to say, it is so incredibly beautiful.

in july 08, joely told with me that her cousin, kirsten (36 and the mother to three young boys), was diagnosed with adrenal cancer. i immediately asked joely, if she would share with kirsten that i would love to do family photos for them...anytime. and that's how our journey together began.

i often get asked about how i get involved with photographing people with cancer.  is there a group? a website? well, to be honest, i just ask. i can't say that i've ever sought out any of the people with cancer, who i've photographed. gratefully, our paths simply crossed. of course, i feel that it was just meant to be. i met sam through kiele's deaf itinerant teacher. i met max through sam. i met kirsten through joely.

it did take quite a bit of persistence on my part, to begin photographing sam and his family. and that's ok. i'm sure it's not easy letting someone in like that.  i occasionally reminded them that i was still willing, without being too pushy,

whenever they're ready, i am here.

eventually, they did let me in and i photographed sam and his family numerous times over the past four years.

i've shared this before -- i truly feel i've been blessed with this gift of photography. and my heart is always open, willing and longing to give back with it.

this was from the first time i photographed kirsten and her family, in august 2008.

ETA: within minutes of launching this post, i received this from kirsten's husband.  this is why i do what i do!!

Dear Deb,

I don’t know if you have heard, but Kirsten passed away last Thursday morning.

I can’t thank you enough for sharing your gift with our family!  You have no idea how incredibly meaningful the pictures you took of us are.  I remember you telling me the story of your husband and how few pictures he had of his mom.  Because of you, we are surrounded by amazing images of Kirsten that constantly remind of us of the incredible person she was, and the incredible spirit and inspiration that she continues to give!

Thank you Deb!  You are a wonderful, giving person with a one-of-a-kind gift!  Our family is forever indebted to you, and your photographs will always fill our house with happy memories!

something special

when i first started my blog and was figuring out how things were going to flow, i knew that i couldn't commit to blogging about each and every client and therefore, decided my blog was going to be about things that touched my soul and hopefully, in doing so, i would inspire someone, somewhere, someday.  well today, i feel it necessary to blog about one of my clients, as she has completely touched my soul.  meet 10-year-old miss E.

photographing E and her family was my last and tenth session in san diego (in 3 1/2 days). E's mom was the winner of my donated photography package, for max's ring of fire auction.

i began the session photographing the kids -- E and her 12-year-old brother.  E is a pretty girl and super sweet, but also quite shy and reserved.  when we first met, i wondered how i was going to get her to relax with me.  but it didn't take long for E to be completely comfortable with me and my camera.  within about five minutes, it was as if it  was just she and i -- no one else in the world mattered.  during that time, E was the prettiest girl in the world and maybe even the most magical princess in the world.  i just kept saying,

keep doing your thing; you are so beautiful...

...and kept clicking.  i was in awe at her beauty and her willingness to openly and honestly share that beauty with me.

E has something special -- a magical beauty that shines from within.  i can't stop thinking of E and the gift she left with me that day.  she touched my soul and her beauty filled my heart.

when i got home (to KS), i shared with E's mom a bit about what i hoped to blog about E, while also asking her permission to do so.  she said she would love that and also shared a bit of E's writings, from her home journal:

love. blossom. live in happiest, forever together. in peace and in bad, i will love you. in all my love for you. when you are mad, remember a new day is ahead of you.  do not live in the past, live in the present. forgive and forget. live strong and in wisdom. remember to care about others  and  yourself. treat others the way you want to be treated. try to be nice to people as many times as possible and give in. remember forgive.

as i read E's words, tears filled my eyes and my thoughts of E's exceptional inner beauty were more than confirmed.  E is one special child and i can't wait to see what she shares with and teaches this world.  she has definitely touched me and taught me how truly powerful and magical inner beauty is.

do what you love...

and do it passionately.  that's what i think about when i watch edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros. i mean seriously...are they passionate about what they do or what?!  super love them.  i can only imagine how awesome they are live.  i now have them loaded in pandora. curious to see what pandora produces because i don't think there's anyone quite like them!!

also, this NY times article came across facebook today. i had read the salwen's story a while back.   so inspiring.  they've now written a book about their experience and  have a power of half blog here, which i plan on checking out later today.

i've been thinking a lot lately (more than usual) about what i'm meant to do in this world. i feel, deep in my soul, that i'm meant to do something greater. sometimes this thought really weighs on me...that i'm not doing enough. that there's something else waiting for me. for my family. do you ever feel like that? i know that someday i'll figure it out. maybe the time isn't quite right right now. i guess that's the deal that i make with myself. to alleviate the ache a bit.

i will figure it out. i will. and until then, i will live with the ache.

ETA: ended up buying edward sharpe and & the magnetic zeros in itunes. pandora didn't do them justice. they are a-ma-zing!!

what you're doing matters

the video was put together by karen center, for the mom 2.0 summit.

and the words...

WHAT I WOULD TELL HER: (If I knew what to say.) You are a miracle. And I have to love you this fiercely:  So that you can feel it even after you leave for school, or even while you are asleep, or even after your childhood becomes a memory. You’ll forget all this when you grow up.  But it’s okay. Being a mother means having your heart broken. And it means loving and losing and falling apart and coming back together. And it’s the best there is.  And also, sometimes, the worst. Sometimes you won’t have anyone to talk to. Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’ve forgotten who you are. But you must remember this:  What you’re doing matters. And you have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs. The truth is, being a woman is a gift.  Tenderness is a gift.  Intimacy is a gift.  And nurturing the good in this world is a nothing short of a privilege. That’s why I have to love you this way.  So I can give what I have to you.  So that you can carry it in your body and pass it on. I have watched you sleep.  I’ve kissed you a million times.  And I know something that you don’t, yet: You are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every day. And my greatest hope for you, sweet child, is that I can teach you how to write a good one.

oh...those words.

we all have them

a while back, i was talking to a friend about writing. you see...she writes magically. and i'm pretty much in awe of everything she shares. i have no doubt that she'll be published some day. and she will be both author and illustrator. her drawings are equally amazing as her writings as is her photography? so we chatted away and i shared with her something that i've only shared with a special few (very few).

since starting this blog, i've had quite a few comments about my writing, asking me things like,

have i always loved to write? did i write before i began blogging?

the truth is...

my mom is 100% german, born and raised in germany. she came to the US when she met my dad (american GI) and became pregnant with me.  from that point on, my mom did her best to become americanized. she became fluent in english, although reading and writing continued to always be a challenge for her. and my dad was just not very active in our lives growing up.

with a german mother and a father who didn't play a huge or encouraging role in my life, i don't remember reading much growing up, except for the books my teachers forced me to read. i don't remember owning books. i don't remember books on a book shelf.  i do remember getting my hands on some judy blume books, which i did read and enjoy...but that's about as much as i read for fun.

the combination of a german mother with a limited english vocabulary, a father who was not very involved, and little reading resulted in my own limited vocabulary--something i have always been embarrassed and insecure about.

in high school, english was my least favorite subject (along with social studies).

in college, i dropped english lit three times until my final semester, when i was forced to take it and pass, or i wasn't going to graduate nursing school.  i clearly remember one of our first assignments; we read a book or story (can't remember) about a bear in the woods. i thought,

how the hell am i going to write an entire paper about this, when it's just about a damn bear in the woods.

i sat down with my paper and pencil and wrote. turned in this paper that i completely bullshitted my way through and the next thing i knew, the teacher was sharing my paper (ack!) with the entire class as an example of a well written paper.

what? how the hell did that just happen?

the class went on. i continued to bullshit my way paper by paper. and ended up with a B+ in the class. proud and blown away, i still did not like english lit or writing;  i just thought i got really fucking lucky.

that brings me to today. because of my vocabulary or lack thereof, i continue to have this fear of writing. and well, i feel it all equates to being a shitty writer...that i write like a child. sometimes while writing, i'll think of a word that i might have heard somewhere and not being sure if i'm even using it correctly, i'll go to my handy-dandy computer dashboard and look up the definition.

i'm not making excuses.  it is what it is.  and i try really hard not to dwell in or make excuses because of my past.

why do i share this?

we all have our insecurities. my vocabulary is a huge insecurity of mine and writing puts it out there for everyone to see (or read). in sharing this, i hope to encourage you to not let your personal insecurities get the best of you--give it your all and be proud. you never know where it will take you.

+++

i actually wrote the above a week or so ago.  and yesterday, my most incredible friend launched her newly branded website and blog and shared this on her blog:

My hope:

Is that my sessions are filled with lucky shots that are no accident; That I am not merely an observer, but a narrator; and a craftsman that is masterful at fostering conditions that allow for real moments to unfold.

Anyone with an eye for composition and light can document life as it happens. I firmly believe it takes something more to dig beneath the surface–to evolve into a photographer who is not just a picture taker, but a picture maker.

There is a moment of extraordinary that can be extracted from every 10 minutes of ordinary. Capturing it is not about point of view, equipment or framing. Instead, it stems from connection: connection to who the photographer is as an artist, and most importantly, connection to the people being photographed.

What does love look like? Exhilaration? Exasperation? How did she gently twist your hair around her fingers when she was three? And, what did it feel like the day you first held his tiny hands in yours?

I aspire for my photographs help to tell the stories. Theirs. Mine. Yours too…

her words are magical.  i dream of writing so elequently.  for now i savor her words...

to be a picture maker and not just a picture taker to know there is a moment of extraordinary in every 10 minutes of ordinary to know that it really is about the connection

love you steph. i cherish our friendship more than you know!

from my 365 grateful project...

i'll be there

best commercial ever.  i'm pretty much in tears every time it comes on TV (and just happened to come on during american idol tonight).  love.  love. hope you do too...

be there. be kind. and do good.

be kind and work hard

...and amazing things will happen. have you seen this?

we got this awesome gift, for christmas, from my dear friend, steph and we absolutely love it.  we bring it to the dinner table every single night.  actually, the kids are so excited about it, they bring it to the table.  each person gets a turn to pick and read a card (ryder needs a bit of help still). then we go around the table and each person takes a turn answering the question.  we do this until each person got to pick a card.  last night, our questions were: who do you sorely miss? what's the nicest thing you've ever done for someone? have you ever stood up for something you thought was right? if you were going to create a new holiday, what would it be and how would you celebrate it? would you rather be smarter, more athletic or better looking?

in discussing our answers to the above questions, there was a lot of talk last night about being kind, doing the right thing and working hard.

call it what you will

if there's one person i stalk and pretty much obsess about, longing for his next post, it's zack arias.  i've probably blogged about him three or four times in the past.  and i'm not apologizing for blogging about him yet again. he absolutely blows me away.  so talented.  i attended his one light workshop a year or two ago and he is equally amazing in person.  love his wife too.

i feel like there's so much i can learn from zack--on so many levels.  i try to soak up every bit he's willing to share.  hopefully, when i'm in tampa and a lot closer, i'll manage to see zack a time or two (workshop or something).  i don't think i could ever learn enough from that man.

so now that you know my obsession with zack's work (hope i'm not scaring you zack and meg), let me share with you his amazing post from yesterday via his new 365 project blog, DedPxl.

A-MA-ZING!