let us never forget
...those who sacrificed so much.
what ____ looks like
"your kids must have the most amazing pictures." i get that comment A LOT. and while my kids do have some pretty fabulous photos from the past five years that i've been doing photography, somehow along the way, i seem to have lost my ability to capture the every day lives of my family. you know, those photos that document the simple joys and everyday moments. it bums me out. and i have complained about it for years, yet i haven't done a whole lot, in an effort to remedy the situation.
so when i was recently approached by a photographer about participating in a project entitled "what _______ looks like", i jumped at the opportunity. i will be working on this project along side a group of eleven other incredible photographers. the goal of the project is to capture our families in a real, everyday kind of way -- to capture moments that document the reality, the beauty, the mess, the truth, the everyday of our family life.
each month we will each choose to fill in the blank with a word of our choice. some of us may choose to use the same word all year. others may choose to change it up every month or every couple months. at the end of every month, we will all be sharing some of our photos on our blogs. we will each link to another photographer until our circle of 12 is complete.
i'm excited about this. i needed this. but more-so, i feel that my children deserve this. along the way, i also hope this project will inspire you to take more everyday pictures of your own famiy!!
so here we go. this is what a bit of our everyday august looks like...
all the cousins together, at oma and opa's, in NV.
standard toy mess. watching TV.
sweaty.
steve jumping.
first day of school.
in the pool. almost every single day in august.
not-so-pretty toenails, courtesy of the pool.
how he always sits. his favorite toy. and the littles' handmade cardboard box chair.
on our way to gymnastics.
new friends at the horse farm.
play time.
their fort.
computer games.
girl time.
before school. forgot to brush.
so what have i learned in the first month, with this project? i learned that i have a long way to go in documenting my family's everyday. and that i need to try and carry my camera around with me more. but honestly, even in this short bit, i already feel like i'm noticing and capturing more of the beauty and magic of our everyday. and that makes my heart so very happy.
can't help but think of this quote... enjoy [and capture] the little things, for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things. - robert brault
i hope you'll now head on over to stephanie moore's blog to see what she had to share about her project this month -- stephanie moore | tucson family photographer.
p.s. i used more than one word for my blank...hope that's okay.
behind the scenes
as many of you probably already know, i'm pretty obsessed with underwater shooting. so i thought i'd share a couple behind-the-scenes photos and thoughts. shooting underwater is WAY tougher than it seems. i use equinox housing, which is large and heavy (originally designed for diving videography and photography), but the quality and security of the housing is amazing.
my friend, emily, who was visiting me last week said,
"you couldn't pay me enough to photograph underwater!"
although she did so-graciously oblige to be my underwater subject a time or two, while here. :-))
here i am in our backyard pool (photo courtesty of emily corey), being held down by ryder, while photographing underwater. i think i'm going to have to invest in a weight belt, to keep me down, in the very near future. and a swim cap for my dreads. it takes my dreads eight-plus hours to dry every time they get wet. it's kind of like having a wet dog wrapped around your head and neck for eight hours...not fun!!
and most of my dresses have now made their way into my pool. steve's bike has became my drying rack.
and a new 'flooded reverie' image from last week...
and a photo of em and lu, while they were visiting. capturing this photo of em reaching out her hands to lu makes my heart so incredibly happy (they waited a long time for their precious little girl).
super exciting things on the forefront with this underwater adventure. hoping to share some news and updates VERY soon.
where have all my babies gone?
my friend, steph, is a brilliant writer and photographer and today she posted THIS on the creative mama. tears strolled down my cheeks as i read her words and thought about my own kids (and no steph, i'm not PMSing). kiele started high school this year. sky is in third grade. and my baby, ryder, is now in first grade (and for some reason, a first grader just seems so much older than a kindergardener).
my babies aren't babies anymore and... i ache at the thought that i am no longer cool in kiele's eyes or that she would rather spend time in her cave than with the family. i ache at the thought of skyler no longer wanting me to kiss or hug her in front of her classmates. i ache at the thought of ryder not asking me to snuggle with him or him not coming into my bed in the middle of the night. the thought of my last baby no longer being my baby makes me want to throw up.
how is this happening? so quickly? where did the time go?
not long ago, i saw this photo of my friend, heather, with her youngest, who is about ryder's age. i now long for such a photo of ryder and i. i can barely hold him anymore (he's so big) and before long, that will be gone too.
above image copyright heather starr
don't get me wrong, i do celebrate the wonderful children my babies have grown to be, but i can't help but think about how quickly the time has passed and the memories i hold onto so tightly.
in closing, i share a few recent photos of my babies...
sky and ryder yesterday, their first day of school
i wasn't able to get a photo of kiele yesterday because she was running late and had to rush off to school to test all her cochlear implant equipment before the other students started arriving in the classroom. however, i was able to get a photo of part of her teenage cave. ;-))
and the little ones' shoes. couldn't help it. every year, we have major shoe drama (too big, too tight, not bendy enough, hurts my pinky toe, etc.). also, i love their independence in selecting their own clothes. check out sky's rolled down striped socks (selecting their own clothes in the morning is something i have always encouraged). oh...and...sky's knees are pretty darn cute too.
note: we're actually headed to payless this afternoon because the shoe drama continued this morning.
and the dog, who is hard as hell to photograph, makes a mess of my doors and anxiously awaits their return home every day.
underwater adventures
for the past few days (as i shared yesterday), i've been in a funk. the dark place, my head sometimes takes me. feeling paralyzed. not wanting to pick up my camera...for anything. yesterday, one of my photographer friends said, GO UNDER WATER! yea, maybe. whatever. we'll see...
...were my thoughts.
but i forced myself to get out there. my kids were playing in the pool. i picked up my camera, put my housing together, jumped in the pool and shot. and i'm so grateful i did. i'm not completely out of that dark place i was in, but i'm surely seeing the flickering of the light now. sometimes forcing yourself to pick up your camera is exactly what it takes.
i'm just so excited about my upcoming underwater adventures. it's hard. really hard. there's so many new / different things to think about and factor in. but like everything in photography, it takes passion, time, dedication, practice and patience. today, i hope to try again (providing i have some willing subjects). i have ideas. i'm excited. i do believe it's a direction i'm meant to be heading and i can't wait to see where it takes me. i know i have tons to learn and so much to explore, but i'm welcoming it all with open arms.
maui | part II
yesterday was spent in west maui. lots of hiking and driving, which in an open-top jeep is awesome at first but by hour seven, you can barely feel your face and even with SPF 45 (applied multiple times), you are sunburnt. but really, who's complaining. our first stop was julia's shack, where we bought banana bread, taro chips and coconut candy. all of which are so darn good (i can't stop eating the coconut candy). then we came across this sign, which i yelled, "wait. stop. back up. i need a picture of that sign.". driving through a certain part of west maui, there are a lot of one lane roads, which again totally scared the crap out of me. you'll be driving, turn a corner and there, directly in front of you is a car, going in the opposite direction. no way to go for one of the cars, except backwards, because if you pull over to the side, you'll be rolling down the mountain cliff.
anyways... i just had to get a picture of this sign. steve and i never had a honeymoon. we were instant family. then separated for six months because of the AF-navy thing. once together, we had a baby (skyler) a month later. nine months after that, i was pregnant again and steve deployed, returning a couple weeks before ryder was born. so, we talk about how this trip to hawaii is our 8-year honeymoon. and yes...falling in love (all over again) rocks. i'll definitely be printing and framing this photo for our house.
we also came across this cross along the way, in this open field along the ocean's edge. the area wasn't really accessible. such an incredible sight. sadly, i don't think photos do this area justice.
hike 1 | iao needle (hawaiian god of the ocean): a beautiful area but pretty touristy. amazing history though. we went hiking (off the paved path) for quite a ways, but not knowing where the trail went or how long it was, we eventually decided to turn around, making the hike beautiful but pretty anti-climactic. i think the coolest part of the hike was seeing some of the local kids having a blast, swimming in the stream.
hike 2 | the ovilene pools: so cool!! we hiked down a small-ish, rocky mountain to get there. there's these pools of water there. one of them being deep enough to swim in, which we did. there was a dad and his son there. the boy was snorkeling and his dad fishing. the dad had interesting stories to share about the pools (one of them being a story about a man, who was severely injured when a massive wave barreled him over, resulting in a mangled body and multiple broken bones). but the place was absolutely amazing. i wish i had my underwater camera there but it's just too big to hike with (especially down a mountain of lava boulders). you can see the boy and his dad in the photo below. the swimming pool is the one directly to the right of them.
hike 3 | nakalele blowhole: another pretty spectacular site. and another pretty good hike down a small-ish mountain. there's a few signs along the way about the dangers of the blowhole and how dave potts got sucked in and lost his life. and OMG...little did i know (until i just googled it right now) that the incident just happened...about a week ago. how sad and how terrible!!
and if you walked just a bit from the blowhole and turned the corner, there was this heart formation in the rocks. we initially thought someone had to carve the hole, but looking at it, it didn't look that way.
after our visit to the blowhole, wind and sun burnt, we decided to head home. tonight, i am so looking forward to a family session on west maui.
note to self: next trip to hawaii, bring and wear hiking / water shoes. the converse / barefoot thing is doable, but not always easy.
maui | part I
we arrived in maui TUESDAY afternoon. photo session that evening. and dinner with awesome (new) friends, who were visiting maui, from denver. lucky for me, i get to see them again next week, while in CO for the NAPCP retreat that leah and i are speaking at.
WEDNESDAY was an admin type of day, for most of the day. that afternoon, once everything was done, we drove out to this interesting area on the SW edge of the island, where in 1790 the lava exploded, after hitting the ocean. the phenomenon created this area looks like freshly tilled dirt except it is actually rock hard lava. the trail we had been hoping to walk was closed; however, we did find another awesome trail that walked along the ocean's edge. there, we saw two wild goats that were standing on a lava rock cliff that jutted out into the ocean. from this land of broken-up lava rock to the random goats, it was all a bit surreal.
THURSDAY: we got up at 3 AM and drove to the top of haleakala (a 10,000 foot mountain) to view the most amazing (yet painfully windy and cold) sunrise ever. the entire horizon was clouds and as the sun rose, the clouds lit up like the filament of a lightbulb. there was also a few locals, who sang a beautiful ceremonial chant. truly a breathtaking moment to witness, but i have to say...i don't think i have ever been so cold. we went home, took a nap and chilled most of the afternoon.
after dinner, we went snorkeling at a nearby area, where i almost drowned and was attacked by a shark (i mean a rock). it really was quite comical. but we did see a couple sea turtles, which was awesome. steve got this photo (i could barely handle myself, let alone a huge camera).
YESTERDAY: we followed the road to hana (north side of the island). along the way, we stopped to do various hikes. each...absolutely majestic!!
hike 1 | puohokamoa falls: this hike was pretty tough because we took it further than most do. the falls were far away, but so beautiful.
hike 2 | punalau falls: this was probably our favorite spot of the day. we hiked through this dry stream of boulders, which ended in this pool of water. the falls weren't much yet still amazing. it was our own private waterfall and pool.
hike 3 | three bears falls: pretty easy, short hike (all except the first few steps), leading to three incredible side-by-side falls. there were quite a few people at these falls because they're easily seen from the road.
hike 4 | pua'a ka'a state park: a super muddy hike. towards the end, you have to walk along and across this viaduct on a platform that is about 1-1/2 feet wide. as long as i didn't look down, i was just fine.
on our way out of hana, we stopped at red sands beach (wish i took a picture, but i was drained by this time). the hike there scared the shit out of me because it was on the edge of the cliff and i had no traction on the dirt / sand (thanks to the chucks i was wearing). we also stopped at hamoa beach, where steve did some bodysurfing. by this time, i was really exhausted and simply enjoyed relaxing on the beach, while steve bodysurfed.
after hamoa beach, we continued driving south, which also scared the shit out of me -- super windy, narrow roads (most could not fit two cards side-by-side, without going up on the edge of the mountain side a bit). also, most of the road was dirt and super bumpy. i don't get car sick and towards the end, i did think about it.
all in all, the day was beyond spectacular, starting out at 7:30 AM and arriving in paia at 7:30 PM, for an incredible dinner of flatbread and salad (everything local, fresh and organic). oh yea -- the cucumber, mint gin and tonic was pretty darn awesome too. will definitely make that when back home.
today, we head to the west side, for more hiking and exploring.
the story of a charming girl
this is the story of a charming girlshe laughs out loud, sings off key and believes in taking chances she is quick and curious and playful and strong she lets her imagination run away with her she has never been one to stick to convention she is fond of daydreams that taker her places she can order a cocktail in six different languages she feels that understated is overrated
i love this video. i love the song in this video.
thanks for the share rosie.
steve, i will never love you more.** and i know... you love me more than everything.
** because i already love you more than everything too.
p.s. i really long for a (working) vintage typewriter. preferably orange or turquoise.
upcoming travel
here we go...i'm off and running.
flying. really. departing early morning tomorrow, traveling the rest of the month. i've always longed to travel. love that we move every few years. so while things are busy and a bit crazy, i'm super excited about my upcoming travels. and really... who wouldn't be excited about NINE DAYS in MAUI!
there are still sessions available in the following locations this month:
MAUI -- july 13-20 DENVER -- july 22-24
i also am looking for some older kids, to do some underwater photography, while in maui: ages 6 and older must be comfortable in the water must be willing to sign a model release complimentary session all edited images available for purchase
sessions are also still available for my september travels:
SAN DIEGO -- september 5-7 NYC -- september 9-11 CHICAGO -- september 16-19
and i'm thinking of heading to the NEW ENGLAND area september 12-14.
please email, if interested in a session at any of the above locations.
H2O love
be careful what you water your dreams with.water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream. - lao tzu
here i am in tampa. trying to get my business going. not easy task. uninspired by the landscape. missing the open fields. and the trees. wondering if i'll find my way here. knowing deep within that i'm on the right path. yet still struggling.
i've had the most incredible opportunities that wouldn't have been possible if i was swamped with client sessions. i know i'm right where i'm supposed to be, yet i yearn to be inspired with tampa and it's landscape. and today, it happened. that spark has been reignited and is burning bright.
i received my underwater housing today and tested it out a bit this afternoon, in my backyard pool. and i can't even begin to tell you how excited i am about the possibilities. about the future. the adventure has just begun.
i will be bringing my housing with me, to hawaii (for the next nine days), to continue testing it out. i still have TONS to learn and luckily have a cooperative subject, who can hold his breath way longer than i can (my husband).
YES...i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be. and i'm dreaming big. really big (although i'm really sore and my shoulder and back are killing me. not sure if it's crossfit or heavy housing related.).
i'm so optimistic about the future, i can barely stand it. more super big news coming soon!!
spreading goodwill
Traditionally, prayer flags are used to promote peace, compassion, strength, and wisdom. The flags do not carry prayers to gods, a common misconception; rather, the Tibetans believe the prayers and mantras will be blown by the wind to spread the good will and compassion into all pervading space. Therefore, prayer flags are thought to bring benefit to all.
- wikipedia
when i was in wisconsin, i stayed at my dear friend, julie's house. shortly after arriving, we had gone outside to look at julie's incredible garden and i noticed the prayer flags hanging from her front port. later in the day, i mentioned how awesome it would be to have prayer flags at the fischer family's session (thinking maybe we could pick some up before the shoot). the next thing i know...the prayer flags are down and ready to go with us to the shoot.
i absolutely love that we were able to have prayer flags with us at the fischer family's session. i love it even more that they were worn from their days of dancing in the wind at julie's house.
i now long for prayer flags, to grace the front porch of my own house... prayer flags to flutter in the wind... prayer flags to bring good energy, luck and happiness... prayer flags to spread blessings and goodwill to those around.
i've been asking friends what they know about prayer flags and looking around. while i'd love to make my own flags, i just know that that's not happening anytime soon. so far, i've found...
these tibetan prayer flags, sold on amazon and here. or these prayer flags on etsy. i'm a bit partial to the happiness-themed flags.
if you know a great place to purchase prayer flags or have any additional insight, i'd love to hear about it.
also, i just came across this PDF article on prayer flags, which i plan on reading later tonight. seems like a great read.
ETA: for anyone that might be offended because the prayer flags touched the ground, please know that at the time of these photos, i had no idea that prayer flags are not to touch the ground. i had the absolute best of intentions in bringing them to the session and photographing them, with the fischer family. i will never let that happen again, now that i am aware.
also, my friend, wendy, just shared this with me:
i do prayer flags with mighty girl...their flags fly to encourage the girls that come after them. i ripped an old white bed sheet into squares and give them fabric markers. http://mightygirlart.blogspot.com/2010/05/wind-horses-arriving.html
and after seeing this flag, created by nina beana, on the mighty girl art site...
i'm feeling the strong need to make my own flags. a family project. designing, dreaming, gathering, creating, sewing...together as a family. my new (year old) sewing machine has been waiting for something like this, to finally make it's presence, from out of the box. YES, our august pre-school project -- prayer flags.
the everyday
as much as i hate the mess, i absolute love and cherish my kids' imaginary play. i think the littles learned it from their big sister. she's the pro at it. although...they were watching sponge bob at the time of this photo. hence, the not-so-imaginary trance.
yesterday, i was here, spending the day with this awesome friend.
tonight, i will be in the fields of wisconsin. photographing a most incredible and magical family tomorrow. can't wait, but i'm a wee bit nervous too.
folly beach * smile *
two weeks ago, i met my friend, em, and her daughter, at folly beach, SC. a mini-vacation, of sorts. we went for the break. to have fun with our kids. but it was also so much more. it was a magical weekend of sharing, challenging, reflection and growth -- as friends. as photographers. part of our time together was my photographing em. challenging her. challenging myself.
it's not often that i have the opportunity to photograph adults. it's not often that em is in front of the camera. last time i tried to photograph emily (when i did her family's photos about a year ago), all she could do was stand there and giggle. of course, we did still end up with a few giggles because laughter is so much of who em is. but we also ended up with so much more.
i hope that i never stop challenging myself. learning and growing and...exploring what's possible. i hope that i can always say and truly believe that my journey in photography has only just begun!
my dream is to one day hook up with a model or two, makeup artist and stylist and see what happens. i know it will happen...some day!!
thanks em for trusting me and allowing me to capture all the beauty that you are -- inside and out. can't wait until the next time. xo.
birthday party hangover
okay, so i should have posted this days ago. but then this happened. and that happened. and it didn't get posted when it was supposed to. sky had a most-awesome birthday party, filled with...
screaming swimming crafting ramen noodles, hot dogs & pickles more screaming homemade vanilla cake dancing movie watching whispering and not sleeping
it was a fabulous day and evening -- one that i hope she'll never forget (especially since her actual birthday day was "the worst ever"...an eight-hour car ride home).
the gang...
the dancing (the bit about "i'm doing them a favor" kills me)...
the hangover...
hope you have an awesome EIGHT sky!!
fathers and statues
to all the fathers out there...i hope you have a most-fabulous day today!!
and here's to steve, who became an instant father when he met me. he has always treated kiele like his own, while also respecting mike as her father. and kiele was tough at first...she once told steve that he wasn't her stepdad; he was just her step. while i'm sure it shook him, you would never have known.
once we were married, steve quickly became a father again. and again.
steve is not only an amazing father, but also an equally amazing husband. the kids and i are truly blessed!! happy father's day honey!!
and as if i haven't already blogged enough about SYTYCD. well, i just can't help but blog this routine. the first week and already a breathtaking routine. and these two dancers just happen to be my favorites. have been from the very beginning, for some reason.
goodness... just love...
i really think there's dance in my soul. i really wish that i was a dancer. i really wish my mom didn't let me quit, as a young child (just because all they had us do were butterflies around the room on the first day and i wanted to do the real stuff). although i was probably stubborn as hell and told her that there was no way she was getting me back there. and so my dance career came to an end after one day of butterflies.
the purpose of life
the purpose of life is not to be happy...it is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and living well. - ralph waldo emerson
but coming across a happy trash can, while on a fabulous vacation, sure doesn't hurt...
and me shooting the happy trash can, in my classic squatting-not-so-attractive stance...
photo courtesy of emily corey
guess who had a birthday
...while we were on our mini-vacation in south carolina? happy birthday sweet skyler!!!
thank you for being you thank you for being so unique and wonderful you are wise and soulful beyond your years you challenge me in the best ways and keep me on my toes you are smart and witty you want to wear makeup and high heels all the time you are an artist and a writer you are learning the joy of reading you requested ramen noodles for your birthday dinner a homemade vanilla birthday cake with no frosting and homemade mint chocolate chip ice cream you never really know what you want for your birthday because you're content with your stuffed and hard animal toys but this year you asked for cracked nail polish, makeup and dresses with sleeves (so that you can wear them to school).
i am amazed by you and all that you are.
thank you for coming into my life.
i know your birthday was the worst birthday ever because it was spent in a car for eight hours driving home, but i hope that i can make it up to you with the best sleepover birthday party ever.
happy birthday skyler! i really can't believe you're eight!!
it's a cat-and-mouse game
that's how i feel right now. i guess that's kind of how i've been feeling for quite a while, when it comes to catching up -- my house is never clean these days, more to edit, workshop to keep up with, orders to complete, and the list goes on and on. and while this might seem like i'm complaining, i'm so NOT!! i'm grateful to have all these things in my life. the cat-and-mouse game is just part of my norm. and i try and keep a detailed to-do list to manage this norm.
speaking of the workshop (via the bloom forum), it's going amazing. i'm loving every single minute of it. and feel it's exactly where i'm meant to be right now -- sharing and teaching. leah and i have also begun discussing our 2012 wallflower retreat dates and location. and we'll be talking much more at the NAPCP retreat, where we are so thrilled to be speaking, next month. lots of excited things ahead!!
i am driving to charleston, south carolina today, for a mini vacation. the littles and i are meeting a friend there, with her little girl. we're staying right on the beach. i so can't wait to just hang out and chill for a few days. i anticipate lots of fun, laughter, inspiration and great conversations, along with some shooting. :-)) but yes, we will have to do some work, while there too.
lastly, kiele is at a deaf / hard-of-hearing camp (such an incredible opportunity) this week, next week she visits a friend and then she goes with her dad for six weeks. so we won't be back to the horse farm until august. the barn cat will be there when we get back, but these kittens won't. my kids love these kittens so much. they will really be missed when we return.
it's awesome though, to see the week-to-week changes at the barn (beyond the kittens growing up). this past week... baby mice were born (still pink and only twitching) the geese eggs still haven't hatched (i would have attempted a photo but one goose was loose and very protective of his eggs; he chased me when i got remotely close). the baby ducks are now big ducks. we also seem to find a dead animal almost every time we're there; this time it was a bunny. but my kids have learned that when you have that many animals on a farm, it's part of the circle-of-life.
we love the farm!!
the baby mice...
and a 14-year-old dog for good measure, from my most recent family session...
HAPPY SATURDAY!!
may...
...came and wentway too fast. although i'm thinking the summer a busy one might fly by that much faster. and as i think hope pray believe for a couple treasured friends currently battling cancer i'm ever-so-grateful for every single minute of may and every day!!
a bit of our everyday may...
and because i was traveling on memorial day, let us never forget those military members and their families, who gave the ultimate sacrifice.
if it wasn't for the kitty litter
yes, if it wasn't for the kitty litter, i think i would steal this barn cat. or at least take one of her kittens. this momma is the absolute sweetest cat i have ever met (and i grew up around cats my entire childhood). my kids love this barn cat and her kittens so much. it's exciting to go to the horse farm every week and see momma cat and how much the kittens have grown (although we missed this past wednesday because kiele had a late 8th grade field trip).
seriously love this cat.
and her kittens.
can't wait till next wednesday. the kittens are going to be so big.